Beautiful Mess

WW: The last baby hair

2009-11-04T03:34:00.000-08:00

Thing 6 is getting a haircut today. It's WAY past time. I've selfishly let him look like a little girl for about 6 months. Because this is The Last baby hair I will ever have, and even though we have 6 kids, and I know We're GOOD with that... it still makes me sad to think that my baby is now a toddler... and that today marks the beginning of a baby free life :(

So while I go find some chocolate to console myself in... YOU can go check out more Wordless (and Not So Wordless) Wednesdays @5minutesformom.

Tackle It Tuesday: I might be a slacker.

2009-11-02T17:22:00.000-08:00

It took me like... half a pot of Coffee to be all Yay Monday! this morning. And umm... By the way, this morning has now become Yesterday morning. I have a million posts started. And a big fat ZERO actually ready to publish.

Aaaand... Apparently I overestimated my Smackdown Power because I'm still Tackling last Tuesday's laundry.

But I did have some Productive Moments. And I was Inspired. And Motivated. And Encouraged. AND I learned something new.

Back in the day there was a place in Greece that the Athenians called Mars Hill. (Areopagus)

All the people would go there everyday and chill. Gather, fellowship... whatever you want to call it. And the people would Prophesy (reveal by divine inspiration) or speak about the ways God was moving in their lives, the knowledge, discernment and understanding that He was giving them...

I think that's awesome.

I'm working on Being Bold In Christ but.. well... maybe not so much.

So often I'll talk to someone, or read something and think... "I really need to say ____" Aaand then I don't. I have all this knowledge that I just choose not to share.

Don't get me wrong... I don't have it because I'm Super Smart or anything. More like Super Stubborn and He has had to teach me Alot of things The Hard Way. Which sucked. Atleast at the time. I should want to help others avoid that by sharing what I've learned right?

So, this week, along with my Ocean of Laundry (which, so you know, is now All Clean... However it is also completely covering the pool table, just sitting there, waiting to be Folded and Put Away) I am going to be Cleaning House on the Inside.

I am tackling... ME.

(Yesss I need Lots and Lots of Hard Core Prayer ;)

Have something you need to tackle?
Go see the girls at 5min4mom and hook up with Mr Linky. Tell us what you’re up to… housework and otherwise... :)

Tackle It Tuesday on a Wordless Wednesday

2009-10-28T06:31:00.001-07:00

Add all of these together and you have a pretty accurate visual of the Ocean of Laundry that I've been doggy paddling through this week.

And most of them look like this....

So I'm Putting The Smackdown on it.

And then I'm going to Shout It Out.

Because by yesterday of next week it will look like this...

Sigh. OKAY it will really look like this...

But I'm good with that too :)

For more Tackle It Tuesday's and/or Wordless Wednesday go see the girls @ 5min4mom

RTT: So Lotta Random, so little time...

2009-10-27T09:42:00.000-07:00

I haven't done Random Tuesdays in a while because there have been So Many Other Things keeping me busy. So busy in fact, that I was actually scared to open my Google Reader this morning. But I Kept On Persevering through the fear and clicked on it anyway and up pops Keely. I just couldn't resist her Efficiency.

Yesterday I did something new. I decided I was going to Embrace the FreshNewStartness of Mondays. Sadly, Monday decided not to Return My Embrace. Rude! So.... Yay Tuesday!

I think I am going to Stop Overanalyzing the fact that I over analyze Everything and just go with it. HOWEVER, I believe that "A closed mouth gathers no foot." which leads to me think that Brevity is Good. So I'm not going to overanalyze things Out Loud anymore.

This doesn't count because I'm typing Quietly.

Thing4 was talking to me after school about how his day had been. I was listening to him while I was cleaning the kitchen. Which means asking Alot of Very Specific questions if you want to know anything important and otherwise MMhmmm'ing in the right places.

Cause I'm a good mom like that ;)

He tells me he learned SO Much and I was like You DID? That's Awesome! What did you learn? Ummm..... I can't really remember.

AND THEN... "My friend Jacob told me he has a coochie. Mommy what's a coochie?"
WHAT!?
Ya.
So, I'm thinking I'm going to be hs'ing next year.
Because if my KINDER-GARDENER is hearing that word,
WTSamHeck is my 3rd Grader hearing?

Speaking of my 3rd Grader. Yesterday Thing2 tells me that she learned all about Child Abuse. Most of it she had already heard from us, though some of their *details were different. In her words...

Thing2: "They talked about all kinds of abuse. Ya we learned about Sexual Abuse and, you know the Kind That Hurts You." BUT they had these puppets .. blah Blah BLAH"
Me (thinking this would be a perfect opportunity to reinforce a few facts): "Did they talk about Blah and Blah? And do you remember that blah Blah BLAH?"
Thing2: Ya mom. I know I know. BUT THESE PUPPETS..."

So glad to see that she Got The Point......

Apparently, I do not Adapt Well To Change because I am NOT happy that someone broke my Facebook. WtHeck!? Really?? I LOVE my friends. So much. But I just don't feel the need to know Every Single Thing they do. Do we really Need to know every time they become Friends with SomeoneIDon'tKnow? or are a Fan of SomeCrapIDon'tCareAbout? NOPE. Not so much.

Life Tip: Make sure you get dressed BEFORE you make your coffee K!? No need to thank me. I'm just Looking Out for YOU.

My kids are So Freakin Excited about halloween being this weekend. We don't normally do traditional halloweeny stuff. But this year a friend is having a birthday/ Trick Or Treating party. So we're going to go. I just want to make sure that they understand that ~~I get ALL of the Peanut M & Ms~~ we are not going to crack out on candy for the next week.

Now go post your own Random Tuesday Thoughts and link up @ The UnMom.com because I cleared out my Google Reader and now I have absolutely nothing to distract me from my laundry :)

Ya so I had this amazing plan....

2009-10-26T05:54:00.001-07:00

to Embrace the FreshNewStartness of Mondays...

I was inspired by This Post and some of the comments because, well, me and Mondays have just never been friends.

Fridays excite me because I know for Two Whole Days the only thing I really have to worry about is the kids.

Okay, let me rephrase that... The only thing I have to worry about during the day is the kids... and then I can get my CDO on at night Cleaning Up All The Messes because I don't have to wake up at the ~~butt~~crack of Dawn the next morning.

But they made Monday sound SO wonderful! All of a sudden Monday became so exciting... Fresh and New and Full of Hope.

Ummm... ya.

So this morning, I wake up to "IT'S 7:30 I WAS SUPPOSED TO LEAVE FOR WORK A 1/2 HOUR AGO. I gotta leave RIGHT NOW! Aaaand btw, the kids missed the bus.. "

Did I mention that we only have 1 car right now?

And I look at the alarm clocks (YES, I use Two) and they are both BLINKING obnoxiously...

Apparently, Monday is not Returning My Embrace. Thankfully I don't have to Depend On Mondays for a Fresh New Start.

So for those of you who are like me...

PS. On a happier note.. I got a (Much Needed) new bra this weekend and, well, ... My boobs totally rock today! Just sayin....

Quotable Sunday: Total Momsense :) Because THIS is what I say, on ANY given day.

2009-10-25T09:05:00.000-07:00

And, Anita Renfroe just rocks. I was lucky enough to see her at WOF 2008 and she is Hi-Larious.

Momsense

Get up now
Get up now
Get up out of bed
Wash your face
Brush your teeth
Comb your sleepy head
Here's your clothes
And your shoes
Hear the words I said
Get up now
Get up and make your bed
Are you hot?
Are you cold?
Are you wearing that?
Where's your books and your lunch and your homework at?
Grab your coat and your gloves and your scarf and hat
Don't forget you got to feed the cat
Eat your breakfast
The experts tell us it's the most important meal of all
Take your vitamins so you will grow up one day to be big and tall
Please remember the orthodontist will be seeing you at three today?
Don't forget your piano lesson is this afternoon
So you must play
Don't shovel
Chew slowly
But hurry
The bus is here
Be careful
Come back here
Did you wash behind your ears?
Play outside
Don't play rough
Would you just play fair?
Be polite
Make a friend
Don't forget to share
Work it out
Wait your turn
Never take a dare
Get along
Don't make me come down there
Clean your room
Fold your clothes
Put your stuff away
Make your bed
Do it now
Do we have all day?
Were you born in a barn?
Would you like some hay
Can you even hear a word I say?
Answer the phone
Get Off the phone
Don't sit so close
Turn it down
No texting at the table
No more computer time tonight
Your iPod's my iPod if you don't listen up
Where you going and with whom and what time do you think you're coming home?
Saying thank you, please, excuse me
Makes you welcome everywhere you roam
You'll appreciate my wisdom
Someday when you're older and you're grown
Can't wait 'til you have a couple little children of your own
You'll thank me for the counsel I gave you so willingly
But right now
I thank you NOT to roll your eyes at me
Close your mouth when you chew
Would appreciate
Take a bite
Maybe two
Of the stuff you hate
Use your fork
Do not you burp
Or I'll set you straight
Eat the food I put upon your plate
Get an A, Get the door
Don't get smart with me
Get a Grip
Get in here I'll count to 3
Get a job
Get a life
Get a PhD
Get a dose of...
I don't care who started it
You're grounded until your 36
Get your story straight
And tell the truth for once for heaven's sake
And if all your friends jumped off a cliff
Would you jump too?
If I've said it once, I've said at least a thousand times before that
You're too old to act this way
It must be your father's DNA
Look at me when I am talking
Stand up straight when you walk
A place for everything
And everything must be in place
Stop crying or I'll give you something real to cry about
Oh!
Brush your teeth
Wash your face
Get your PJs on
Get in bed
Get a hug
Say a prayer with Mom
Don't forget
I love you
**KISS**
And tomorrow we will do this all again because a mom's work never ends
You don't need the reason why
Because
Because
Because
Because
I said so
I said so
I said so
I said so
I'm the Mom
The mom
The mom
The mom
The mom
Ta-da

Now go see Toni @ A Daily Dose for more...

But shhhh.. she really doesn't like screaming.

PS. If you love Momsense you've gotta watch Total Momsense.

All we need is Love.

2009-10-24T07:24:00.000-07:00

Go after a life of love as if your life depended on it—because it does.

That's all. You can continue with the rest of your day now ;)

8 Crucial Safety Tips for Women and Girls

2009-10-22T11:05:00.000-07:00

Because this kind of thing happens all too often, and the Season of Shopping is quickly approaching (a little too quickly if you ask me ;) AND I just got this awesomely informative email, I wanted to make sure ya'll take EXTRA steps to keep you and yours SAFE.

So here are 8 Crucial Tips to remember in an emergency situation. (Woohoo a List. My favorite!)

Tip from Tae Kwon Do ~ the elbow is the strongest point on your body. If you're close enough to use it, DO!
If a robber asks for your purse or wallet DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM. Toss it AWAY from you. Chances are he's more interested in IT than YOU and will go for the wallet, giving you the opportunity to RUN LIKE HECK! (I added that last part ;)
If you're ever thrown into the trunk of a car, kick the tail light, stick your arm out and wave it like crazy. The abductor won't see you, but everyone else will. This has saved lives.
We (women) have a tendency to sit in our cars and do STUFF before we drive away (balancing checkbooks, making Lists or phone calls) This is the Perfect Opportunity for Predator to slip into your passenger seat and put a gun to your head. AS SOON AS YOU GET INTO OUR CAR LOCK THE DOORS AND LEAVE. If somehow a predator does get into your car DO NOT DRIVE OFF. Instead gun the engine and drive into ANYTHING as quickly as possible. Your airbag will save you and a wrecking your car is a much better option than being found dead in some remote location.
A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot/ garage: A. ALWAYS have your keys ready. B. Pay attention to your surroundings; Look around you and look inside your car. C. If you're parked next to a big van, get into your car through the passenger side. There have been several women abducted by being pulled into a van while getting into their cars. D. Look at the car parked on the driver's side of your vehicle,
and the passenger side... If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk backinto the mall, or work, and get a guard/policeman to walk you back out.IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (And better paranoid than dead.)
ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs.
Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot.
This is especially true at NIGHT!
If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS RUN!
The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times; and even then,
it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ. RUN, Preferably in a zig -zag pattern!
As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP It may get you raped, or killed.
Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking, well educated man, who ALWAYS played
on the sympathies of unsuspecting women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often
asked 'for help' into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted
his next victim.

To be perfectly honest, some of them seem a little out there to me, BUT I would definitely go for the paranoid option way before the dead one ;)

Want more info on staying safe? Here are some GREAT links.

The Top Ten Things Every Woman Should Know about Personal Safety

Serious Safety Tips for Women

Personal Safety Tips for Women

Feel free to SHARE these tips with your friends, daughters, moms etc. and if you know of any Safety Tips for Women and Girls I'd LOVE to hear them.

WW: You're so pretty. Ya, I know.

2009-10-21T06:07:00.001-07:00

I think I'm going to have to lock her up when she hits 14.

Just pretend like you don't see THAT MESS on my kitchen counter M'kay?

See more (possibly cleaner) Wordless Wednesdays @ 5 Minutes for Mom

Because Ashton Kutcher Just Rocks!

2009-09-30T05:28:00.000-07:00

@aplusk Spent the day digging a well and watering goats with the warriors and bead girls of the Samburu. Humbling experience.

Having a chat with my new friend Lupeta

As if you need another reason to ~~stalk~~ follow aplusk on Twitter ;)

See more Wordless Wednesdays @ 5min4mom

Going Balls to the Wall... :7 Things to 7 people.

2009-09-24T19:24:00.000-07:00

As in, Things I Wish I Could Say To You But Can't and Probably Never Will...

Did you know that the saying "balls to the wall" has nothing at ALL to do with testicles? It is totally a flying reference that implies giving it all you've got, so feel free to say it in church!

this comes from a very reliable source...

I have been struggling with some things lately. Several things, actually.

Remember when I said I wish there was a way to 27 thing fling my mind? Well, I have been Opening Up Boxes filled with Issues that have been Packed Up and taken with me Everywhere, and I have finally decided to do a little Decluttering.

I have some things that I think I need to get off my chest.

So...
I'm just gonna put it all out there...
Balls to the Wall...

Here we go...

I hope that someday you can see me for who I try to be. And I'm sorry that's not always the same as who I end up being. Please, just... have a little faith in me. I know I can do this.
I really really need you right now. So much. I'm going through some things that I know you could help me with. I want to ask for your help, but I can't. You are such an amazing person... and... I want you to keep thinking that I am amazing too.
I wish I could find a way to share my Faith with you. I see how much you need it... and it's a Gift that I have been given in abundance. And, while I am soooo thankful for that gift, if I knew how, if I could ease your struggles even a tiny bit, it would be yours in less than a heartbeat.
It reeeaaally sucks that you're never there for me when I need you. And, please don't take this the wrong way because I love you and I will always be here for you No Matter What but... 98% of the drama that you spend so much time worrying yourself sick over is Self Created. Remember??? The definition of Insane is doing the Same Thing and Expecting Change.
I get the feeling you don't really want to talk to me. If that's the case well, then... just keep doing what you're doing I guess... But I think you're one of the most beautiful, transparent passionate people I've ever met. And I think about you almost every day.
It hurts me to watch you never get any further than trying to make yourself happy. When will you realize that your flesh can never be fully satisfied? Every time you satisfy one desire, there will be another bigger, darker desire waiting to take it's place. This is where depravity is born. Please don't waste your life mistaking physical pleasure for love... or numbing your emotions with alcohol instead of just dealing with your realities. You are beautiful and you're worth so much more than that.
I know I've forgiven you and we've moved on. I truly believe that we are in a completely different place now. But sometimes I can't help but think about it. And... I still don't understand how you could do that to me...

Okay that was only a 7 Thing Fling. But I can only dig so deep at one time. And they were Heavy so it still counts as 27 ;)

Everybody needs an Emmett.

2009-09-23T12:40:00.000-07:00

One of the speakers at the Women of Faith conference this year was Lisa Welchel. I don't know if you remember her or not but once upon a time she played Blaire on The Facts of Life.

To be completely honest with you, I wasn't really looking forward to hearing her speak. I don't know why. I have absolutely nothing against the woman.

Ironically enough, she was the one that God used to speak to me the most.

Ya. He's pretty funny that way :)

It was kind of weird actually because the details and circumstances of my life are nothing like hers. But the emotions and the isolation that she experienced... the walls that she built around herself... I was surprised to find that I could relate to every single thing that came out of her mouth.

At one point she was talking about when she attended a WOF conference (before she started speaking) and she went with Anita Renfroe, who spoke last year. If you're not familiar with her you should look her up. She is hi-lar-ious.

Anyway, she was sitting there listening to Marilyn Meberg (also VERY funny!) talk about all of these things she's been through and how she wouldn't have been able to make it through any of it without Emmett who was this amazing friend and then she went on to describe their friendship...

And Lisa Welchel talked about how it just hit her, right then and there how she had closed herself off from having open authentic relationships with other women and other people for so long and all she could do was sit there and cry...

And she said (this is Lisa talking...), "Anita took one look at me and asked 'You don't have an Emmett do you?' And I said 'Noooooo.' and then Anita says 'Well... I would make a sucky Emmett but I'm going to pray for you to find yours.'

And as I was sitting there... in that arena filled with thousands of other women... listening to her share her life I realized that I have done the same exact thing.

I have built walls around myself so high and so solid that it would probably take longer to tear them down than the Great Wall of China.

As I came to this realization, the tears just started streaming and all I could do was just Pray for God to start tearing down those walls... and to send me my Emmett too.

Since that little Emotional Breakdown I've also realized that there are things that I am meant to share with others. That I need to stop feeling unworthy and ashamed and... afraid.

He has plans for me. Because somewhere out there is someone who needs ME to be their Emmett.

The Florida Bar Association has announced that they will start doing Social Media Background Checks on Lawyer Applicants

2009-09-18T11:54:00.000-07:00

As in, checking you out on Facebook, Twitter, My Space, etc.

Hmmmmm....

I was lucky enough to be able to get a little down time while I was sick last week.

So I used some of that time to ~~stalk people on Facebook~~ people watch.
You know, like when you're at the mall or the park, sitting on a bench watching people walk by.

Except that.. umm... there was no mall. Or park.
Actually... there was no bench either.
Aaaand no one was really walking by...
So... maybe it wasn't reeaaallyyy like that....

Whatever.

Either way, it was very interesting.
The people on my friends list are extreeeeemely different from each other.
Diversity is a good thing ;)

Plus ya'll just cracker me up!

So, in honor of, well, YOU, I give you... Random Posts & Statuses from UnDisclosed Friends on Facebook.

I always find peace dwelling in the middle of chaos... (Like!)

There was a comment on this one that said... I always find my piece dwelling in the middle of my legs

In Undisclosed Commenter's name is the word *Noble

no·ble (nō′bəl) having or showing high moral qualities or ideals, or greatness of character.

and isn't it iiiironic...

Sorry. I was having an Alanis moment.

Now, I have never been accused of being thegirlwithadirtymind so...
I'm not the only one who just CANNOT see another way to interpret the meaning behind that comment right!?

Speaking of Facebook and Commenting...

I have to put this out there...

I *unlike any and all forms of arguing, controversy & confrontation. If I see something that you posted that I disagree with or that is offensive to me i just keep scrrrooollliiinnnggg right on past it.

Apparently others feel it their sacred duty to self righteously tell you not that they disagree with you, but how you are Morally Offensive for voting in a certain "Is Kanye THAT Nigga" poll that crackered you up. And then flagging it and having it removed.

Really? Really!?

Hence the peeing in your cheerios status

Because Yes, in that particular instance he was.

I happen to find certain Presidential Candidates Morally Offensive, but I don't tell you not to vote.

Hey do you think this mean I can flag and remove ...ummm... Undisclosed President?

So, in the interest of ~~hoping you'll stop being a butthead on Facebook~~ raising your awareness of Social Media Etiquette, I just wanted to let you know that you have other options. Just in case you happen to find yourself in that situation again.

The LiveandletLiveandLeavetheJudgingMetoGod Approach in which you just scroll right past the offending post and simply move on with your Facebook Experience.
The Passive Aggressive Approach in which you leave the offensive person on your friends List and use the Hide option so you don't ever have to see them or their offensiveness again.
The StandUpForWhatYouBelieveInWithoutSpewingFlagrant SelfRighteousismInMyComments Approach in which you simply Remove said offender from your friends List completely, and again... move on.

I'm good with all 3. Please feel free to choose whichever option best fits your needs.

K. Now I'm moving on.

(See how easy that was :)

... Is cleaning her house so that her kids can mess it up again. Circle of Life, people. Circle of Life.

... What's that I hear? Nothing. Ahhh....

... I think we'd all drive a little nicer if our Twitter name was on the side of our car.

... ...poop! It fills my world and defines my days

... has been cleaning so much this week she must have a Fairy Godmother and two ugly step-sisters somewhere! Bibbidi, bobbidi, boo bitches!

... is thankin the good Lord for WINE:30 :D

I think I missed the memo that said it was going to be one of "THOSE" days ...

Days like today are why God created Mimosas ... he knew that somedays you just need to start drinking at 9am ... think I should keep a bottle of champagne in the fridge ... you know ... just in case

... gets to try again today. Life-take 9,595. (yes that's how many days old I am, feel free to not do the math).

... is tying up loose ends. please check back later.

Who broke Facebook while I was gone??? Dammit... Was it Fan check? People! Stop using Apps unless you trust the maker!!!

And this last one's for My Girlies.

...just realized what LOST is REALLY about. Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought it was this DEEP!

Another friend sucked into the Stupidest.Show.Ever!
I am so blocking you guys :)

That show makes absolutely no sense to me.

I do have to admit though that the title is verryy clever because Every.Single.Time. I have ever tried to watch that show I have gotten Looosssttttttt ;)

Heather ~who is going to use the Hide Option to hide from the Twilight hater who likes to kick...

< insert funny title here >

2009-09-01T09:42:00.000-07:00

Even if some people were early and some people were late and I was SO thrown off I almost didn't know what day it is....

Thing6 has been watching (then repeating) the other Things.
Especially Thing4, which is just a little disturbing...
He can now say my name 3 different ways. "Mom!Mom!Mom!" "Mamamamamamama" and "Mommmyyyyyyyyyy!"
SO cute!
Did you know that I have a bellybuttonring?
I got it pierced the.minute.I.turned.18. and I've had it ever since.
Through ALL 6 pregnancies.
And 4 C-sections.
Amazingly enough it looks exactly the same. I wonder if I'm like Extra Elastickey there or something.
I really really want to get my eyebrow pierced. 2 little barbells.
IDk why. I've always wanted to.
I also have a tattoo.
A tribal Sun on the back of my neck.
You know, so that when I get old and all wrinkly no one will be able to see it....
unless I get wrinkly AND bald.
I'm getting another tattoo.
Six little footprints going up the outside of my calf.
I wonder if that's the kind of stuff that makes my SIL say things like "You? A soccer mom??? More like Alanis!"
I wonder if I should be offended by that...
I'm not going to be because really, Alanis.Just.Rocks.
Apparently I have a previously undiscovered aptitude for being a thug.
That's right.
I am Hard.Core! now so... watch out.
What can I say? Sometimes it just feels good to rob a pimp.
I wish that God had given us a *Butthead clause in marriage.
I have searched and searched for where it says something like... "In some circumstances, ~~such as buttheadedhusbands~~ you will not be held responsible for the biting sarcasm that unwittingly tries to spew forth from your lips."
Would you believe that there is Nothing in there like that?
I KNOW!
I was shocked too.
I guess I'll just have to keep trying to be an Excellent Wife...
as opposed to the ~~sometimes sucky~~ soso wife that i usually am.
OMGosh!
I just saw the Sexiest.Man.Ever. IDK what he looked like but he had a sponge and a mop and it was hott!
That was so exciting I have to stop writing this immediately and go facebook it!

I think Keely might be antiEdward
so you should go over there
and ~~kick her~~ see her...

OMGosh! This week has been SO busy!

2009-08-29T08:59:00.000-07:00

I am not doing ANYTHING today!

School started Tuesday:)
Thing4 started Kindergarten.
I've been reading all of these posts about kids starting kindergarten.
So many mom's are sad or anxious.
Ya. You won't find any of that here.
I've been doing the happy dance all.week.long.
This week has been the most awesomely amazing week.
Tuesday was the Best.Day.EVERful!
I would have run outside yelling that, as some people may have pictured me doing...
But I figured the neighbors have seen more than enough of me lately already. You'reWelcomeVeryMuch!
So I restrained myself ;)
My Martha Brain thrives on anything that requires Planning, Scheduling, Organizing and LISTS!
She has totally taken over so I am In.The.Zone
It only took me like 30/45 minutes to clean the.entire.house.
I had time to do *prek with Thing5.
She practiced the letter A, shapes and colors.
She also poured half a bottle of BedHead conditioner down the TIOLET!
And.. ummm... gave herself a haircut... with the clippers... while I was making breakfast...
Guess who left those down??? And PLUGGED IN!
I got to dance around the family room with Thing6.
We were totally rockin out to Ren & Stimp y.
I have decided to stop fighting Martha and just embrace the sickness.

I LOVE planning.
Routines excite me.
Schedules get me all hot and bothered.
I won't even tell you what Lists do to me...
Yes! I admit it! Cleaning turns me on!
I am a MUCH better mom during the school year.
Whatever.
I am an organizer to the point of rampant OCDism.
And I am Okay with that.
Thing1 is homeschooling.
The 6th grade curriculum was apparently not appealing enough....
And the thought of getting naked in a locker room full of other people just sealed the deal for him.
SO on top of the required curriculum... he is adding a course in media/graphic design and one of his (chosen) projects is to create a Graphic Novel.
The Ultimate.Kid.Alliance vs Supermommy.
MMMhmmmm.
Do you think I should be worried?
Because... I'm a little worried.
What if they do this in real life? And win???

Cate seems to be
pretty busy today...

Bleeding, PeePee dancing, Flashing... You know... All of the usual stuff you do in a week...

2009-08-18T05:00:00.000-07:00

So last week was a pretty interesting week.
Not exactly the Most.Hellacious.Day.EVER! type of week, but still... definitely not boring.
Not that we actually have very many boring days around here to begin with.
The more I think about it... boring could be good for a little while.
Just so you know...
I am NOT writing anything else about PEE or URINE or POTTY TRAINING EVER again!
For 2 reasons.

It seems to be prophetic.

You would not believe what Thing2 did!

She keeps a bag packed... always!... just in case someone happens to come over and wants her to spend the night.

Even though the only place I ever let her stay is the grandparents.

Apparently someone took all of her stuff out of the bag and it was nowhere to be found.

She decided that Thing3 MUST HAVE taken it and hidden it.

Or... at the very least, left their door unlocked and allowed the little ones in to wreak havoc with her precious stuff.

And for that Thing3 MUST be punished!

So she proceeded to PEE in Thing3's bag because that somehow made it FAIR.

WTHECK?????

What is that???

I cannot even begin to wrap my mind around that concept.

I guess she was a little... *pissed.

Hahahahahaaa.

Okay. Moving on...

2. Someone searched peepee dance aaaaand my blog came up 1st thing.

Along with some really really freaky creepy stuff.

Like anonymous peepee dance groups.

And strange videos.

And peepee kings.

Did you know that someone will actually PAY you to do ...er... wierd peepee dance stuff????

May I just say.... EEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

And those are just things that I saw right off the search page. I was too creeped out to actually click on any of those links....

So, no more peepee here. Nope. You will not see the word peepee here again.

As far as the internet is concerned... we no longer pee at my house ;)

Thing5 busted her head open. As in huge hole in her forehead with LOTS of blood loss and screaming and gnashing of teeth.
4 stitches worth of busting her head open actually.
She hit it on the edge of a concrete bench.
Out of 6 kids she's the first to have to be rushed to the E.R.
So I'm doing pretty darn good here!
And she was AMAZING.
Beyond amazing.
The.MOST.Amazing.Child.EVER!
When they came in to do the stitches the guy wanted to *papoose her. As in wrap her up in a sheet like a mummy so she couldn't move.
WTH??
The guy was like "Yeah it just makes it easier to keep them still. We've found that most kids fight us when it comes time to do stitches.
Umm... YA! I'm sure the whole mummy sheet thing has NOTHING to do with that.
So I was adamant about NO turning my sweet little 3yo into a mummy. And we told her she had to lay down and be really really still so the doctor could put the *string band aids in her head so it can heal.
She says "It's okay. God is already healing it."
And I told her that God sent the doctors to give her band aids"
She laid perfectly still the whole.entire.time.
She didn't move.
She didn't cry.
She didn't even whimper.
It's like she just went inside herself until it was all over.
She was absolute awesomeness.
So I gave her my peanut M&M's.

I think Thing2 is showing Doctor Potential.

Thing2: "I know just what to do mommy! Thing5... What does 2+2 equal???"

Thing5... who just turned 3 and has NO idea what 2+2 equals on ANY day: "2+2 equals... my head is BLEEDING!"

Thing2: "OH MY GOSH I think she has BRAIN DAMAGE!"

I read something about the more colorful your food is the better it’s supposed to be for you. I think I might even have read it on one of the rtt's from last week.
So I'm wondering if that's real.
And if it includes M&M's.
Because if it is true then they should definitely count.
They are VERY colorful ;)

Apparently I am now in the *business of flashing.
Construction crews no less.
I had a lil help from Thing6.

I was outside talking to a neighbor holding a WIGGLY Thing6. Who decided to pull my shirt down. And you could see.. well..things that are usually NOT seen... And to top it all off 3 construction trucks happened to be rolling by... death by mortification....

I know. Last week was Naked Random Thoughts.
And I said I was definitely NOT getting naked.
I guess I just felt left out....

Keely has all her clothes on this week

The one where God goes from whispering to kicking....

2009-08-13T07:22:00.000-07:00

I've been having some sucky wife moments lately.

Quite a few of them.

Okay. ALOT of them actually.

I need to change some things. Mostly some attitudes that I have towards my husband based on different things in our past.

Things I had supposedly LET GO of but obviously not since I've also still been holding them against him and sometimes even throwing them up in his face.

Not so much out loud but definitely in my head.

Last night i was thinking about marriage and the different roles and responsibilities we each have in our marriage.

Adam's *punishment in the whole Fall.Of.Man. incident was to have to LABOR, which is something my husband has struggled with for a looong time. Not so much that he minda working, just that he wanted to do what HE wanted to do, HIS way, which was not so much conducive to... having a stable income.

Eve's punishment was, and I quote "with pain you will give birth to children. Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you."

So I sucked up the pain pretty gracefully.

The desire came easily and naturally. At one time in a completely UNHEALTHY way where my desperation for my husband ranked MUCH higher than my desperation for my CREATOR at which point I was taught a lesson about that in such a way that my entire life completely imploded, exploded and pretty much fell apart before my very eyes. I was crushed and shattered and ...broken. Very very broken. (Thankfully I was also picked up and pieced back together and made much much stronger.) But that experience was SO extreme that I will NEVER forget it and make that mistake again.

Tha last part though...

He will RULE OVER YOU.

Well... I just kinda skipped it

Because that is a tough.pill.to.swallow. Atleast for me.

I like the part that says "Understand and support your husband in ways that show your support for Christ" better because that makes it much easier to justify MY opinions. As in "Well, I don't think Christ would support that SO I don't have to SUBMIT.

Because YUCK! I don't like that word and all that it implies. I submit in theory but NOT in my Spirit and my Heart and my Mind where it actually counts. I submit PHYSICALLY but only when I feel like it's something I should submit to or if I think he deserves it. And even then it's more likely than not that I'm doing it with the attitude of "I'm only doing this because I WANT to and YOU should feel SO thankful to have a wife who submits.

YAY! Lucky him!!!

Not a whole lot of submission for a *submissive wife is it??? Kinda defeats the whole purpose.

When I saw this study on an awesomely inspiring friends blog a while back part of me was like "OH! I need this!!!!" and another part (the more dominant one at the time) was like "WHAT.EV.ER."

Now I've come back to it AGAIN! Because I'm slow that way and didn't take the hint the first time.

And I'm just gonna DO IT!

So Pray For Me!

Pray very very hard ;)

i find it fascinating that SarahJessicaParker can go from butt ugly to insanely hot in a split second. It’s like a hidden super power and I want it!

2009-08-11T05:31:00.000-07:00

So Keely's on vacation and has a *guest poster for rtt this week. And one of her random thoughts was "I’ve been watching Sex and the City reruns lately since there’s nothing else on. I find it fascinating that (naked or clothed) Sarah Jessica Parker can go from being butt ugly to insanely hot in a split second. It’s like a hidden super power and I want it."
And I thought "That is SO true! & I want it too!!!"
That made me laugh SO hard I almost peed in my pants. Thank God for SuperMommyStopMidTinklePowers or we might have had a problem.
Okay. I would have had a problem. But it's nice to share....
This is probably the kind of stuff that makes my blog come up when people search for things like what do you feel if you urinate.
Ummm... like you don't have to pee anymore???
I'm guessing.
I could be wrong ;)
I cannot figure out why the thing.i.hate.! is the thing that will keep my kids happy and quiet for HOURS???
They love mud.
The dirty kind.
They love it so much that I'm aboutthiscloseto grabbing a handful and taking it to Sherwin Williams to get matching paint.
Speaking of dirty things...
Yesterday I spent most of the day unplugged because I decided it would be a great idea to open up my mouse and clean it.
And then it quit working.
Next time I ~~am SO anal retentive~~ feel the need to take things APART to clean dirt that you can't even see I'm going to tell Martha to just.shut.up! and I'm leaving it dirty.
Potty training tip ~ if you toss a Cheerio into the toilet after you flush it every time the next time a boy ... any boy... uses it... he WILL aim.
Doesn't matter how old they are. There's just something about peeing on a cheerio. It is impossible for them NOT to.
Idk why cause I'm not *equipped to stand and aim but... it is a Proven Fact.
Last night one of Our Favorite Neighborhood Strays was hangin out in the man.cave. and I was just sitting out there listening to their ~~nonsense~~ conversation and the whole time I was thinking... Dude! I am SO glad I don't have a penis.

I am definitely not getting naked
(you are welcome!)
but there's no telling what they're doing over here...

Because this is my favorite quote EVER.

2009-08-09T10:17:00.000-07:00

"Speak softly and carry a big stick; you will go far" Theodore Roosevelt

Doesn't that just.rock.?

And because his awesomeness does not end there, here are a few more...

"It is no use to preach to [children] if you do not act decently yourself."

"For unflagging interest and enjoyment, a household of children, if things go reasonably well, certainly makes all other forms of success and achievement lose their importance by comparison."

"I never keep boys waiting. It's a hard trial for a boy to wait."

"The one thing I want to leave my children is an honorable name." "It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed."

Be practical as well as generous in your ideals. Keep your eyes on the stars, but remember to keep your feet on the ground."

"I have a perfect horror of words that are not backed up by deeds."

"The worst of all fears is the fear of living."

"There is not a man of us who does not at times need a helping hand to be stretched out to him, and then shame upon him who will not stretch out the helping hand to his brother."

"Don't hit at all if you can help it; don't hit a man if you can possibly avoid it; but if you do hit him, put him to sleep."

"Alone of human beings the good and wise mother stands on a plane of equal honor with the bravest soldier; for she has gladly gone down to the brink of the chasm of darkness to bring back the children in whose hands rests the future of the years. "

Pretty smart for someone who's not even a mommy ;)

Get your quote on...

WTHeck was in that good wife memo and why didn't anyone send it to me???

2009-08-07T10:46:00.000-07:00

Thankfully. I think the.day.from.Hell was like some weird 24hour bug or something because I have been ON it and totally rocked today!

See... proof! Facebook does not lie ;)

Heather Sluss it's 1pm. house is spotless, laundry washing, baby sleeping & kiddos quiet??? i think i'm living someone elses life today. i like it ;)

'bout one turn o' yer hourglass ago squawked from Twitter · Weigh in · Arrr, This be pleasin' to me eye. Care not fer such trifles ·
Spy what them scurvy dogs be sayin' (5)Stow Them Responses (5)

Just so you know this is an exceptional day.

~~Most of the time~~ Sometimes I have a really really hard time getting everything done. Especially since summer vaK started. I have been SO off this summer.

I think it's starting to make me insaaaaaane.

I'm having withdrawals from Routines and Schedules and Lists.

What happened to my organized self???

I feel like I've been making just enough effort to get by. Not enough to be *excellent.
Or even really good. Just enough... and sometimes... barely that.

Not that I'm just sitting here doing nothing. I'm still busy.

But more like AutoPilot busy.

I've been struggling with wondering wtheck happened to the passion I had.

Sometimes I get So tired of trying to be a good wife.

I mean that literally. Some days it.is.exhausting. Physically. Mentally. Spiritually. Emotionally.

And I just want to be D.O.N.E.
Not Foooorrrr-eeeevvv-eerrrrr
Or even for a long time.
Just for a little while.

I don't know if it's the nature of being an excellent wife in general that I'm having such a hard time with or specifically trying to be an excellent wife to my husband.
Cause he does NOT always make it easy.

I'm thinking I just must not be too good at this whole wife thing if I'm constantly having to work SO hard at it.

It should be easy sometimes right?
Right???

P.s WOOOHOOOOO Women of Faith ... 2 WHOLE days awaaaayyyyy ~ in 6 days :)

Heather
~who is taking her life OFF of AutoPilot and switching it back to Manual.

I don't even think words exist to adequately describe the hellaciousness that was my day

2009-08-04T08:49:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was the.day.from.HELL.
I am POSITIVE that somehow, at some time ... atleast once during the day I absolutely earned the Worst.Mother.EVER! award.
Not exactly what I was aiming for.
I'm totally going to blame SuperDope. Cause it all started with this conversation the night before....

Me: "Tomorrow I'm going to try to ..."

theBiggestThingofThemAll: "Put aaaalllllll that laundry away????"

Me: "Okay. But I was going to say that I want to clean..."

theBiggestThingofThemAll: "Clean everything so I can *blah blah blah"

SO what's the best way to get something CLEAN????
Move EVERYTHING out of your way!
Aaaaand while you've already got everything torn apart ya might as well just rearrange the Entire room.
And if you're switching that room, why not just do 2 or 3 or 4 more????
While I was busy doing that... the Things were busy doing All.Kinds.Of.Stuff.
Thing1 put a hole in his thumb.
Thing2 hit Thing 3 in the mouth with a hammer.
A hammer!!!
She was trying to *fix her chair and apparently Thing3 thought it would be a good idea to stand BEHIND her.
While she swung.a.hammer.
You can imagine all the bloodshed for yourself.
ALSO .. apparently... everything I say to Thing2 is considered (by her) to be *optional suggestions as opposed to the adamantinstructionthatyouMUSTobey that I consider it to be.
I really wanted to hit her.
I didn't.
I wouldn't.
I've never hit anyone in my entire life and I'm certainly NOT going to start with an 8yo.
But I really really wanted to.
What kind of mother wants to hit their kid????
It is IMPOSSIBLE to walk away when you are a sahm of 6.
Okay, I'm exaggerating a little bit.
It's not impossible to walk away... but it is completely impossible to walk away ALONE!
Thing6 aka *theDiaperAnnihilator found the way out of his diaper.
It had some stuff in it.
He decided to plaaaaaay with it. He decorated. All.over.his.crib.
While I'm giving him a bath Thing5 comes in to *potty.
For some strange reason she has to take off every article of clothing she has on to do this.
She does what she has to do and instead of immediately regarbing she takes off running...
Out the door....
So if you happened to be driving in Tampa yesterday and you saw a soaking wet crazy woman carrying a half naked baby in a towel chasing a totally naked 3 yo around the yard....
Ya.
That would have been me.
That's not even half of what went on... but I'm getting Emotionally.Exhausted. just thinking about it.
On another note...
I am SO getting a Toy Fairy.
When theBiggestThingofThemAll brings something home and says "Look baby I brought you something" what he really means is " Look now ...soIcangetmybrowniepoints ...cause it's *suppos'ta be yours but I'm going to take it and there is a very high probability that you will never ever see it again. "
Or something very very close to that anyway.
We had to put a PadLock on the fridge.
You think I'm joking.... but I am SO serious.
Access Denied!
Aaaaand... guess who still has to put aaalllllllll that laundry away???

I'm gonna go get on that. And you, well, you can go get your random on.

Keely's Random is *SuperFly.

Defeated by the Master of Adorability. You may have won this time but this isn't the last you've seen of me.

2009-07-29T20:16:00.000-07:00

O.M.Gosh. I think Martha is starting to rub off on Thing5.

She just pitched a complete footstompingarmsgoingup&downamileaminutescreamingatthetopofherlungs hissy fit.
Because it was BedTime! and I wouldn't let her put her book in the right pile on her shelf and organize all of the other books that were laying on the floor.

What have I done to my child???

And then she ~~totally suckered me into letting her stay up for a few more minutes~~ engaged me in an absolutely fascinating and irresistible conversation.

Thing5 "Will you pleeeeesssssase lay with me for a few minutes?

*Me "You're a Big.Girl. Don't you want to go lay down in your bed like a Big.Girl?

Thing5 "No cause I don't wanna be all alone."

*Me "But you're never all alone cause Jesus is always with you in your spirit."

Thing5 "But no he's not there right now."

*Me "I promise he's always there. No matter what."

Thing5 "Well I think he went down to my stomach for a little while."

And then proceeded to say...

"Jesus is the Best.Ever! And so is God! and I think he has sharp claws. Sharp claws that give you claw kisses. Oooh sharp claw teeth that give you claw teeth kisses. Like sharks. But not like the real sharks that eat you but like the nice sharks who talk and they don't eat you cause they like Sharkboy and Lavagirl."

*Me "Hmmm.... I'm just not sure about all that."

And then because ~~I am a.complete.sucker~~ my SuperMommyStayingPowers were weakened by such blatant adorability, I admitted defeat and when we were all snugglied together she looked up at me and whispered very softly "I love you mommy soooooooo much!"

Because a (notSO) SuperMommy knows it's easier to pick your battles.

And some battles are just worth losing ;)

Umm...ya. Sorry. I've really just got nothing here....

2009-07-27T18:16:00.000-07:00

Random

Something unexpected and irrelevant, but often amusing. A very over-used word now, please people, use it when something really is random. See example below for a true example of random.

Holly: Sorry to hear your hamster died Bob...

Bob: Window cleaners for British rail should watch out for flying man-eating deckchairs today, swimming in from the south along with the flea-ridden coathangers. The calf needs the blinds shut due to his purple parrot problem, and the pet washing line needs a slap round the face for dropping the flying monkey on the "queen of the night" tulips. The muffin man is responsible for the sudden outburst of rain yesterday as he forgot to pay the rent on his blue strawberries. I'm sorry, did you say you wanted a biscuit?

Holly: Random! Custard cream please.

I just can't stop thinking about this baby. Stellan's story is... beautiful and ... heart wrenching and ...
It made me cry more than the end of Prince Caspian.
I was boohoo'in just watching that clip.
I know. But it's sad!
That movie absolutely rocks.
Just so you know... the girls and I totally karoakied that song when I was looking up that link.
Aaaaand... we rocked!
We're thinking of putting that up on You Tube.
Hahahahaha.
There is a reason that I sing in the car.
So Stellan's story reminded me of this one time...
Okay. I cannot think the phrase "this one time" without immediately ending it with *at band camp.
Idk why.
As I was saying, reading the posts about Stellan took my mind back to when I was pregnant with Thing3.
I was on COMPLETE bed rest for the.entire.pregnancy.
She was born at 27 weeks and spent about 2 months in the NICU.
That was... excruciating. To say the least.
I seriously thought I was going to die from *the Mommy Guilt.
That's a real thing. Ask any mom.
You feel guilty for leaving the ones at home to be at the hospital.
You feel guilty for leaving the one at the hospital to be at home.
You feel guilty cause you're SO tired from running back and forth that all you really want to do is take a loooong nap and just kinda... wakeupwhenit'sallover.
And you feel completely useless because really... there is nothing you can do to change it.
Until you remember that you can get on your knees.
In prayer people! Bring it up from the gutter ;)
Thing3 is 7 years old now.
And perfect!
She is the physical essence of my faith.
And the hope that other people need to cling to.

Isn't she so prettyful?!

I am so rockin Alanis right.now.
I thought you might like to know that.
Aaaaand I am just all outta random for today...

But Keely's the queen of random.
I bet she never runs out

Oh ya! Almost forgot.

I'm gonna get a bff.
I'm not really up on that whole thing anymore so...
Is there like a store or something that you can get one of those at?
Hit me up if you have one you don't need any more. K?

....when mere words are just not enough to express the intensity of your... love...

2009-07-23T08:19:00.000-07:00

Dear ~~Man Who Has Not Washed The First Dish In Eleven E.L.E.V.E.N. Years~~, Love of my Life,

~~You are getting on.my.last.nerve~~...

~~You know how You Are A Boy, and sometimes boys.are.stupid~~...

~~Remember when I said it was okay that you forgot my peanut m&m's like 5 different times? Well~~...

Even though sometimes...likerightthisveryminute...i really just... want to...well... kick you...you are some how still totally able to reach down into all of my prepubescent girlie giddiness and make me feel like this on any given day.

Just wanted to let you know I was thinking of you.

Love ~~most of the time~~ always,
Your Wife. Remember me? You know, the woman who gave birth to crazy amounts of kids for you and makes sure you have clean boxers every.single.day and is hoping you lose your latest personality acquisitionvery very quickly before I lose what little bit of patience I have left and NO I'm not praying for more patience because you know what happens when you pray for more patience all you get is more chances to practice it and... Your adoring wife.

Ps. ~~Would it really kill you to RememberTheFreakin M&M's just once~~ Hope you're thinking of me too.

Edited to add:

Pss. or pps. or ssp or...whatever! You must have been diggin on my psychic vibe cause you totally rocked the m&m's today. In all of their dark chocolatey goodness.

I bet JenniJiggity gets M&M's...

And God said: Sex is Good...but only if you're married and definently NOT with vampires wearing dirty clothes.

2009-07-21T06:20:00.000-07:00

I totally don't get how it's possible for my laundry to multiply all by itself and then just lay around waiting for ~~someone~~ me to come along and wash it.
Sometimes I think in cheesy song titles.
Usually it's 80's Hair Band songs that come to mind.
IDK why but theres a cheesy 80's song title to go with just about every random thought that pops in my head.
It's okay. I have a wide assortment of whines to go with it.
If someone wanted to pay me to just think up random ideas for them that would be the.perfect.job.
Seriously. I'm thinkin of putting up an ad.
If you ~~have absolutely NO imagination~~ need a Creative Thinker and are looking to hire someone who has ~~waaay too much~~ a plethora of brilliant ideas... halla at ur girl. Cause I totally rock at that ;)
Think I'll have many takers?
Wanna know why 75% of America thinks church is a joke and All Christians Are Evil Hypocrites????
Because of Crap.Like.This.
Really??? Really???
I'm SO disgusted that I am just fresh outta funny.
But you know who's not outta funny?
Anita Renfroe.
I saw her at Women of Faith last year and she completely.crackered.me.up!
And she wrote an awesome book with her husband called Songs in the Key of Solomon. In The Word and In The Mood."
Can't get your man to get into devotionals???
This is the book for you!
Cause what man is gonna say NO to a 10 minute devotional with a GUARANTEED sumthingsumthing for him at the end???
Speaking of books...
I now have proof that I'm not the only one ~~obsessed with~~ who likes Twilight and is ~~counting down the days~~ waiting patiently for the New Moon premiere which I ~~just happen to know is Nov. 20th~~ think is sometime in November.
Who wants to take me??? Anybody????
As much as I liked the Twilight series I'm not really into the whole vampire thing but I did read the Sookie Stackhouse Series by Charlaine Harris.
However... it turned out to be more like Twilight meets Soft.Core.Porn with lots of blood and ickiness and not so much anything like Twilight.
Aaaand the series based on the books (HBO's Trueblood) is even worse.
Although there is a hot blonde vampire.....
But when theBiggestThingofThemAll makes a comment about how much boobage is on a show, well... you know it's bad cause he really likes....vampires.
Okay. Not really. He's more a zombie kind of guy. It's the boobage that keeps him coming back for more ;)
I had to add this. I totally just had to regulate on Thing1 and Thing2 List.Style. Yep. I made them sit across from each other at the table and stare at each other and write 20 good things about the other.

It must have worked because all of a sudden there is no more arguing :)

What? Not enough aimless, arbitrary, purposeless, indiscriminate crap for you? Then go see Keely at The UnMom for more ...

So stop what you're doing and get up RIGHT NOW and go hug your kids!

2009-07-18T19:07:00.000-07:00

Unless your kids are asleep and you reinforce the *He Who Wakes The Baby Gets The Baby Back To Sleep* rule like we do.

In that case, just go stand in the doorway and give them a very quiet *Air Hug.

Cause I'm surely not getting any more babies back to sleep tonight.

I am dooonnneee! The SuperMommy cape ...aka Thing4's blankie... is hung up for the day.

PleaseGodLetThemAllStayAsleepNowThatI'veOpenedMyBigMouth!

Guess what's coming up ya'll???

I LOVE their disclaimer.
Note: As we all know, plans can change, but this is what we expect.

Truth in advertising.

I'm totally using that from now on so....
if you know me, you can just expect to hear that from me in the future when we make plans ;)

I'm sorry I suck like that but ily anyway.

I personally think that you should hug your kids everyday but hey... who am I to argue with a National Holiday?

I can see it now...

"Nope. Sorry. I already hugged you this year. You have 258 more days to go before your next hug."

I'm sure that would go over well.

So, here are 6 reasons to Hug Your Kids ... everyday :)

1. Because they cheerfully and gracefully suck up any punishment that you dish out...
Thing1 "But Daaaaaad. I've been mommyblogged! Since when is public humiliation considered an effective form of discipline?"

2. Because they know how to cover their bases...
Thing 2 "And Dear Lord please forgive us for all of the things we did and said that were not good today, and please forgive us for all of the bad things that we are about to do."

3. Because they have such an extraordinary sense of smell...
Thing3 "This flower smells like...like....ummmm..." long, thoughtful pause ...
Mommy "...a flower?"
Thing3 "Nooooo." ...deep sniff of aforementioned flower ... It smells like A Beautiful Day!"

4. Because if you can't do it, they will...
Thing4 "It's okay Ma... don't be a scaredy cat... I got this"

5. Because they are unwavering in thier convictions....
Thing5 "Well. You're not the boss of meeee."
Mommy "Yes I most certainly am the boss of You. I am The Mommy! The Mommy is always the boss.
Thing5 "Well. You aaarrreee the boss of meeee."

6. Because they are just SO gosh darn huggable!

Now, that just makes me wanna go and find some slobbery baby kisses. Because those are my favorite ;)

So... go hug Your kids!

And have A Beautiful Day.

And if you're very very lucky ... maybe You can find some slobbery baby kisses too ;)

The one where God surely does have an ironic sense of humor...

2009-07-17T17:22:00.000-07:00

One thing I have always always known, regardless of anything else, is that I wanted to be a wife and a mom. No matter what else I did ...that was a *given.

I remember praying for this as far back as I can remember. And my only *request, was that the man I fell in love with would have a passion for me that was so intense it would only be superseded by his passion for Christ.

Had I known then what I know now I would *most definently have thrown in a few more particulars about dishes and diapers ;)

Of course I was really only expecting to have 1... maybe 2 kids.

Hahahaha.

SO... my Alohaa Friday questions for YOU are...

Is there anything you've always just KNOWN about your life?
Does it look the way you expected it to?

Now, head on over to An Island Life to link up and answer some other, more interesting Aloha Friday questions.

Come Out Come Out Wherever You Are.

2009-07-15T19:38:00.000-07:00

Pssst......
Hey you.

Mr. Sunshine.

How ya been? Haven't really seen you much lately.

I know you're pretty busy. You know, giving light to the world and all.

Lately I've been pretty darn busy too. Even busier than usual.

Because I have 6 children, SIX children at home all.day.long. and since they can't go outside they've been more than a little creative about occupying themselves.

INSIDE.my.house!

There have been frogs and skateboard ramps and water fights with the sprayer thingie on my kitchen sink. And end.less. hours of Hannah Montana.

So look, since we're both so busy here lets just be real and make this quick so we can get back to what we have to do.

I 'm totally onto you.

I've heard, from a very reputable source that you've been ALL OVER South Tampa like a crackhead on.... well, crack.

Ya. South Tampa is nice. I grew up there. I like it too.

Hyde Park & Ballast Point rock. I know.

But YOU cannot play favorites. It is your JOB to shine on everyone.

I demand my sunshiny day rights!

So go out there and ...shine.

Well. Maybe ...not so much right now.

Cause it's like midnight here and some people just might not like that so much.

I bet She has sunshine.

Random Linky Bloghoppin Stuff. On A Tuesday.

2009-07-14T10:34:00.000-07:00

All of my favorite things in 1 post!

Lists, Multi-tasking and Efficiency.

Woohoo!

We're takin a walk on the *wild side;)

I know.

Martha, Martha, Martha!

She pops up so much lately I'm beginning to think she's a whole 'nother personality.

Would that make me schizophrenic or is that only if I start talking to her???

IDK.

So here are some random things about me that you might not know ~~and probably didn't want to~~ but have always wanted to.

I hate small talk. Even if you call it "fellowship" and serve doughnuts.
I'm shy. Really. Just pass the doughnuts, and please don't make me talk.
Unless I know you. Then you probably won't be able to shut me up. Because chances are you're the FIRST adult conversation I've had all week.
So I guess you get that I'm not big on social settings.
or public restrooms.
or other things that smell bad.
I really really love Febreeze.
and Shout.
I can use an ENTIRE bottle of Shout in 3 days.
I really really do not love laundry.
It is possible to feed kids all.day.long and then look up at 4pm and realize you forgot to eat. Again.
And then you're so hungry you could eat ... well ... something you normally wouldn't.
I keeping a running estimate of the caloric values of everything I eat in mind.
If we are what we eat, I am 1/3 veggies, 1/3 carbs, and 1/3 Chocolate Chip Cookies.
If you’re ~~anal retentive~~ ocd enough to calculate calories and then admit to extreme cookie consumption, you probably should not make such information public.
I write inspirational, * chick lit.
Would love to be published one day.
But would hate all the social scenes that might involve.
Stormie O’Martian’s The Power of a Praying Wife was Life.Changing.
My husband and I have been together for 10 years.
We were very young.
And very, very stupid.
And God has done SO much with us that now I would only add 1 notveryemphatic very before the stupid.
And that's saying ALOT.
God is really really good.
I like to talk to Him when I'm half asleep snuggled under the covers.
And when I'm driving.
Which often makes the people driving beside me look at me like I'm insane for talking to myself.
30% of those times I might...actually... be talking to myself.
I have to go Google Bing Right.Now. because I saw an ad while I was checking my email and Martha says I must find out what it is immediately!

Ya'll have a great day!

Thing1 is SOOOO grounded

2009-07-13T05:48:00.000-07:00

He doesn't know it yet. Right now he's passed out drooling on his pillow like a sailor on leave at the end of a 3day drinking binge.

My firstborn. My most intelligent, most responsible child

was on Facebook at 3am.

How do I know this? Because when I logged in at 7:53 this morning I got this notification...

Tristan challenged you to a quiz. View quiz >> 5 hours ago.

Didn't really think that one all the way through didja?

The next time you ttyl will be about the time Thing6 starts preschool.

So my darling Thing1. I'm happy to see that you're so *itk on short text words.

Maybe you can figure this one out.

G4L!

Now, I'm off to try and figure out how to lock this baby up. Or down. Or .. idk cause I've never had to do it before. But just know this. Compared to getting into this computer .. getting into Fort Knox will be like takin candy from a baby.

Actually that's really not so easy.

Have you ever tried it? Babies are very ...grabby.

I'm gonna try again.

Compared to getting into this computer .. getting into Fort Knox will seem like a piece of cake.

Yummy chocolate cake.

Now I want cake.

So I'm off to put the cuffs on Thing1.

Well... maybe I'll just go find some cake first ;)

Google could totally kick Yahoos butt in a search fight anyday!

2009-07-11T18:29:00.000-07:00

& the Stupid Facebook Quizzes are stalking me.

I know they are. They must be.

How else would they keep coming up with the same.freakin.results. 2 different quizzes. 2 completely different sets of questions. Same.freaki n.results.

You’re a bundle of nervous energy,
and when you get an idea in your head,
it stays there, for better or worse.
Easily excitable and hard to discourage,
you use your abilities as the ultimate perfectionist to drive home the point
that it’s either your way or the highway.

Obviously there are no new updates on the whole martha brain thing.

Btw, I am a bad, bad Friends Fan. Yes. I totally suck.

As many times as I've watched that show I never knew these lyrics were in the theme song???

No one could ever know me, no one could ever see me.
Seems like you're the only one who knows what it's like to be me.

I can absolutely identify with that.

I reeeaaally think that some people just don't get me.

Imagine.that.

Sometimes, I'll be talking to someone. Not always the same someone. Several someones. And not any particular someones. Random someones in my life. But still , someones who I would think know me pretty well. Someones who are important in my life.

So, we'll be talking and then they'll say something (in reference to me) and I'm just... blown .. because whatever they said is soooo far from who I am, or how I think that I'm just like...

"Really?"

"Am I being punked???"

hahaha.

"No Really... where's AplusK???"

"Can you see me or did you think you were talking to someone else?" "Do you know me at.all.?"
"No... not so much huh?"

Does that ever happen to you???

It is ... disconcerting and disturbing and ... a little depressing.

I've been going through something pretty close to this.

And feeling a WHOLE LOT like this.

Those are both Safe.Links. I promise;)

And it's left me ...disconnected.

Aaaand that just ... sucks!

Open Letter to .. my Wild Child

2009-07-09T15:08:00.000-07:00

Dear Thing4,

I love you. I love you sooooo much. I really really do.

Butt seriouslyyy... you make me completely insane sometimes.

I say "NO THING4 DON"T JUMP THOSE STEPS ON THAT SKATEBOARD. It's a CONCRETE FLOOR for goodness sake! You'll BUST YOUR HEAD OPEN." And you look at me, and listen to all of my reasons why you should.not.do.that. And then you consider ... aaaand ... "Nah. Don't worry Mom. That won't happen to me. I know how to do this."

And when I ~~think I~~ finally have you convinced not to pretend your Tony Hawk inside my house, and I turn around to chase after Thing6 who has learned how to take off his diaper and RUUUUUNNN while laughing hysterically because he is winning, I hear your delighted shout of glee "I KNEW I could do it. Right On."

I mean, really. WTHeck am I supposed to do with you?

ALL of my threats of "because you could hurt yourself" are just tossed right out the window that Thing5 has opened and is now trying to climb out of.

And when I feebly say "Ya. Well. You COULD have gotten hurt" you just grin at me and sing "So what who cares?? I got Jesus baby." (No more Lecrae for YOU!)

Aaaand apparently, you do. Because if you didn't your head would most likely have been split in two long long ago.

If I know nothing else, I so know ONE thing.

With you as my son I will NEVER. ever. ever. forget that I need Him too.

Because I surely do suck at being your mom all by myself.

Oh Ya! YOU too can join JenniJiggity every week for Open Letter Thursday.

All you have to do is Write an Open Letter on your blog, and include a link to Jiggety Jigg (you can grab my button)!

Then go to her site, sign the Mr. Linky Widget, and visit the other bloggers who are playing along!

The Hurrier I go The Behinder I get!

2009-07-07T19:38:00.000-07:00

Have you ever noticed that there never seems to be enough time in the day to do everything needs to be done???

My To Do List is starting to grow appendages.

I know. It's a sickness. ButUrbanDictionaryJust.Rocks!

Now I've had to add a *More Things To Do List AND an Even MORE Things To Do List.

There's just something wrong with that I think.

Maybe we should add some more hours.

Or maybe it's just the whole *Martha brain thing coming out again.

One of these days ... I'm gonna get that right;) You just wait and see.

I'm thinking that could possibly take a while so...

You might not want to wait HERE the whole time.

Just return to your regularly scheduled program You can check back once in a while.

A couple weeks.... 10 years.

Whatever.

It can go on the To Do Eventually List.

Guess what's on in the background right now????

No. I did not subscribe. Really. But isn't he the YUMMIEST?

It would be completely ungrateful of me NOT to appreciate the beauty that graces the earth. And, really who am I to complain if that beauty just happens to come in a yummy eye candy sort of package;)

I'm just being a good person.

Oh and speaking of being a good person...

or...

not...

I found out the Facebook secret. And I DID IT!

Not to you. Of course.

Yay Me!

Goin to do the happy dance now.

I'm So Excited. And I just can't hide it ...

2009-07-06T18:48:00.000-07:00

What?

Oh, like I'm the only one who thinks in song. And in Lists. Oh. Oh. Lists of songs. That would rock!

I know what I'll be doing later.

Right. Moving on ...

So, I need to talk to you for a minute.

This is very important, so focus!

Somewhere on Facebook, there is a way to fix it so that you don't have to see everybody's status everysingletime they update it.

Not that I would do that to you, of course.

Or you. Or you.

Maybe you....

And definently you...

But never to YOU.

Really.

Because you SO get me.

Although if I did, according to the comment maker from randomblogIcannolongerfind, you would never know.

How awesome is that???

I have absolutely NO clue how to make that happen, but ... somehow just knowing that the knowledge is out there somewhere for me to stumble upon gives me warm fuzzies;)

Okay. That is crap. If you know how to do that you need to spill it. Right now.

Just tell me what I need to know... and no one gets hurt. This does NOT have to turn ugly.

Remember, Sharing Is Caring.

And ... you care. Don't you???

Oh Ya! Take a look at this. (pssst....SafeLink. IPromise.)

May I just say OH WoW.

It's a shame... I reeeeeaaaaaaly like Starbucks and now that is the vivid mental image I will have every time I order an Iced Vanilla Chai Latte. With XXtra Chai. And Soy.

Not Because I Could Hear You....

2009-07-06T05:27:00.000-07:00

Okay. So, Thing4 was doing something he wasn't supposed to be doing.

Because that is what he does best.

He was behind me and he thought I was distracted playing with Thing6.

*All knowing Mommy "Elijah! Stop it right now!!!

*Shocked Thing4 "But how did you know..??? "

Deep thoughtful silence ....

"OHHHH ... you saw me with your back eyes didn't you???"

Yes. Yes I did.

Aloha *Edward Friday

2009-07-03T09:05:00.000-07:00

Via...

It’s time for another Aloha Friday, the day that you take it easy and look forward to the weekend, in Hawaii and in *mommy blog land. As you should know by now, over at An Island Life, Kailani decided that on Fridays she would take it easy on posting and ask a simple question for you to answer. Nothing that requires a lengthy response.

So, in honor of *Aloha Friday I ask you ...

Do you think theBiggestThingOfThemAll would mind if I hung this up in our bedroom???

Who would YOU put on YOUR bedroom wall???

It's just for the hair. Really.

If you’d like to participate, just post your own question on your blog and leave your link at An Island Life’s blog. Don’t forget to visit the other participants! It’s a great way to make new bloggy friends!

The Mommy Confessions ... but God said yes!

2009-07-03T06:12:00.000-07:00

It's Friday once again.
Time for another round of...

Mommy Confessionsss

dun du dun dunnn....

Not only is Thing1 smarter than me, but he's also a better person.

Yesterday he called me on not being nice.

Of course, the conversation I was having was with theBiggestThingofThemAll and we were OUTSIDE the back door almost whispering so the ONLY way Thing1 could have heard was with his EAR to the DOOR and really ... you can't complain too much about hearing something you don't want to hear when you are EAVESDROPPING...

But what I said wasn't nice.

At all.

And Thing1 did hear.

*Hanging head in shame*

While I was feeling guilty for that I decided I might as well feel guilty for not being so nice earlier too so...

Woman of questionable morality ... I shouldn't have...questioned your morality.

Even if you do make it way.too.easy by twittering pics of yourself with no pants on.

Maybe you just can't help yourself.

While I'm confessing, I should probably also mention my ineffective discipline techniques.

Yesterday Thing4 got in trouble for having something that he wasn't supposed to have, and I said "But you didn't even ask..."

He replied "Ya. I asked God. And He said yes!"

Dead serious. With a totally straight face.

Aaaand I just walked away laughing.

The Mommy Confessions is a weekly series by Life Starring the Kids & Me.

As moms, many of us have things that we would like to get off our chests or that we would just like to confess. So here is the place to do it!

Once you read here, pop over to her page and link up with Mr. Linky (if he's in the mood).

Join in and spill it....

What's YOUR Mommy Confession?

Google Say Wha Say Wha???

2009-07-01T19:00:00.000-07:00

So, I thought I might take this time to get serious and tell ya'll a little bit about myself.
I wasn't really sure where to start so... I'm just gonna give you some of my top 5's okay? Of COURSE it's okay. It's my blog. I'll do what I want... insert Cartman voice here...

Okay Top 5's ... in List form. oooooh.

Things I Need...

a time out
to know
to be a girl (thought I already had that one covered...)
to survive summer
a spanking! (hey! I haven't been that bad. I warned and I censored!)

I Look Like...

a very attractive 25 yr old porn star ... (um ... thanks?)
she's hot and uncomfortable. (as any good porn star would be)
something only YOU will eat!” (I'm not even gonna touch this one! You're Welcome)
she's had bad plastic surgery. But,she's got a plan (Oh Thank God!)
pooped. (Well of course I am! Look what I've been doing up there!)

What? TMI???

Things I Want

vicodin (let's just exchange this one for klonipin shall we?)
injured daughter to SUCK IT UP!
to outlaw birthday cupcakes (I know. I suck)
control
$2 Million From Oprah

Things I Do

not care
not let me get ANY thing off ebay or amazon
Not Always Know Best (Think google's been reading my blog????? How would they know that???)
it all (So true so true. What??? It is. Didn't say I do it all WELL now did they???
it better (Maybe some stuff .... patting self on back. Go me!)

Things I Hate

genitalia (ROFL. that word crackers me up. isn't that sad???)
her tattoos
miley cyrus (no matter which personality she chooses! Miley, Hannah...can't stand either one of em! But I will still totally rock out to her songs!)
this blog (that's just not nice.)
cupcakes (hence the outlawing of the birthday cupcakes)

Things I Ask

for donations (...anyone?)
for advice
what's with the tax breaks?
if anything will be done (about.....???)
cosmetics victims, “WTF? ... (Ya! Really! WTF????)

Things I Like

Jennifer Aniston More Than Angelina Jolie (It's true. What?? The skank just STOLE Brad! Just sayin...))
quiet
sleaze (what can i say? I'm a porn star remember? It's my JOB to like sleaze!)
putting up her dukes (that's right! who's bad now?)
Zac Efron

Things I Eat

cake (just not in *cup form)
hash brownies in robot armegeddon (hehehe)
muffins all over town (all.over.town!)
five guys (ummm .... that IS a place to eat. you have such a dirty mind!)
all she can

Things I Wear

breast pumps
Combat Boots
mickey ears
hotpants
a trench coat
a wedding ring

Where ya think I'm goin in that outfit???

Things I Was Arrested For

6 counts of Lewd Acts
allegedly slinging hardcore drugs
assaulted a Kirkland Little League player
two charges of lewd and lascivious exhibition after she was accused of performing nude ... at a sexually oriented party

I guess we know what the outfit was for...

Things I Love

it
today
i can't even repeat this one
me
her baby daddy
elmo

It has come to my attention that some of my readers may have either a) self control issues b) problems following directions or c) all of the above... so I'm warning you ~~Becca~~ random disobedient blog reader... don't.click.the.link!

Seriously. DO NOT CLICK ON THAT LINK.

O.M.Gosh ya'll. You didn't really believe all that did u???

Come on now!

This was too.freakin.hilarious. Soooo funny.

You should try it.

Type in "[your name] needs/looks like/wants/does/hates/asks/likes/eats/was arrested for/loves " in the Google search ... and see what ya get.

You go do that, and I have a *letter to write;)

WW Giving New Meaning To The Term *Happy Ass

2009-07-01T09:20:00.000-07:00

Do you see what I see???

Theory #1 The Walmart mascot is attempting an escape!

Theory #2 This lady was SHOPLIFTING the Walmart Smiley face….

IDK But it crackered me up.

So while your contemplating those profound theories, go check out some more Wordless Wedsnesdays or... if you have issues keeping your mouth shut you can also check out some Wordful Wednesdays

Have a great day!

Houston I think we have a problem

2009-06-28T11:38:00.000-07:00

SO, I read this post & I went to comment right? After the comment was posted I realized I missed a letter in a word.

So, I deleted it.

And rewrote it.

OCD much?

Which is why I was totally not surprised at this.....

Heather completed the quiz "Which Friends Character Are You?"
with the result Monica.

You are Monica. You are organized and and on top of things. You are the leader of the group and always know the plans. You are the "momma" to all your friends and take care of everyone even before your own problems. You can be funny and quick with a comeback. .

Really? Really???

I have a question for you...
When you write ... do you *plan your post?

I ask this because I'll see or hear or think something through out the day and think Oh that's a totally good post.

And then... when I actually sit down to type ... I just start spewing out whatever random thing happens to be in my head at the moment.

Or atleast...

the parts that are *censored.

For YOUR protection!

Aren't YOU the lucky one???

You should feel very very lucky that you don't get aaaaaaaaaall of it.

It would be way to much for you to handle.

Or, at the very least, waaaaaaaaay more than you wanted to know;)

I think writing is the only thing I don't plan. Or organize. Or over analyze.

Hmmm... wonder if that means anything?

Saturday... Saturday... Saturday.

2009-06-27T11:19:00.000-07:00

Is it just me or is anybody else hearing Elton John?

Because ... the minute I typed that title, he popped right into my head singin that song. Those same words. Over and over. Because that's the only part of that song that I know.

Oohhhhh. That song's about fighting. I totally did not know that. Until right now. When I looked it up. Just for you.

So that song doesn't really work for me now.

Because ...Facebook says.....

How long would you survive in the ghetto?

You'll get shot up so fast just by taking a step, you cant talk black :(

Stupid quizzes. I got 2 words for ya. Urban. Dictionary. Facebook just doesn't know how we roll around here.

Actually..... maybe they're right.
I've never been in a fight in my life.
I've never had anyone want to fight me.
I don't know why.
Sparkling personality?

or...

Scary big sister???

We're just gonna go with the *sparkling personality.

Either way I'm reeeaaallllllllyyyyy happy about that, because... if anyone ever.actually.hit me.... I would probably just fall down. And cry like a baby. Possibly while in the fetal position.

Iknowbutthatmovierocks! Don't tell anyone I said that.

What's slips out on this blog... stays on this blog.

I was just going to give you a picture but the assortment that google gave me was just ... bizzarre and ... well ... disturbing actually.

SO I thought I'd share it with you;)

Do you know that I had to take like 7 redo's...andliemybuttoff... on this stupid quiz before I got the right answer??? The right answer being the one with *the right stuff.

I know. Cheesy. But really??? What part of that whole thing isn't???

Just sayin...

Anyway, I'm really kinda hoping Facebook quizzes are accurate because they also said ...

Where will you be in 10 years??

... sitting in your comfortable chair busy working on a lot of paperwork! Well atleast your hardwork paid off bigtime! Since your now the boss of your own business! And your name is listed on the world's top 100 richest people! How rich!

I'm definently down for that ;)

Yes. I've been hangin out with the Facebook Quizzes.

Again.

See ... what had happened was ...

Aaaaaaaalllllllll of the kiddos are asleep (woohoo!) and the BiggestThingOfThemAll is in themancave with other .. er ... men. Who obviously don't have their own mancave Because they are always in ours.

And soooooo, I thought I would just take 1 little quiz.

But when I saw Where I Am Going To Be 10 Years From Now I just had to find out How Long Would I Survive In The Ghetto. You know. To see if I was actually going to make it those 10 years. And THEN, since I'm going to be SOOO rich I really needed to find out Which Celebrity Would Play Me In The Movie Of My Life. And what's the point of knowing that if you don't even know What Movie Is Your Life???? And then one thing led to another and before you know it things were just spinning out of control and I was wearing Masks of Beauty as Sandra Dee in Grease and dating Rob_Pattinson ... with fangs....and ...

...it was just all kinds of crazy.

But ...

It's over now.

Besides....

Itonlycountsasanaddictioniftheresa12stepprogram.

So, apparently it's Friday.

2009-06-26T16:49:00.000-07:00

And that means it's time for...

Mommy Confessionss

Hmm... what to confess what to confess???

Such a hard decision.

Because I SO rock and have very few things to confess?

Umm... ya. You can think that if you want. But if you want to know the truth....

Okay.

ButRememberYouAskedForIt.

You didn't?

Well, your getting it anyway.

AND you're getting it in List Form.

Because I just saw the Listiest.List.Ever.

Aaaand ... now I want to make one.

I have to get the Martha out somewhere.

Lucky you.

I am totally jealous of Christine's Listiest.List.Ever & I'm secretly plotting to make a Listier.Listiest.List.Ever.

I ... am a horrible horrible friend. Yep. I totally suck. If my friends call me I will always make time for them. They all know they can show up at my house, any time they want or need to. And they do. But, I don't really call much. I mean, I could call. But I'm not so sure they'd be happy when I called them at 1:30 in the morning. Because, for some odd reason, that is always about the time I think about calling people. I think I've made it to like 3 birthday parties. Iwasonlyontimefor1. I also made it to a bridal shower, a bachelorette party, and was in a wedding. Which I was on time for. You're welcome Jene:) So...this was actually a pretty good year! In all fairness I did warn them all up front. But since they are SO amazing they love me anyway. And not only do they call, they are always at birthday parties. Wow. You guys really do rock;)

Umm... let's see. What else.

I am always late. Always. No matter what. And it makes me insane. I hate to be late. But, it seems like the harder I tried to be on time, the later I am. Um. Ya. Soooo I don't really try anymore. Now ... I kinda just roll with it. Oddly enough, I've been alot less late. And, just to let ya know... I know when I'm late. So you know how you call me ... to tell me that I'm late, forcing me to stop whatever it is I am doing and answer the phone so you won't be mad at me for being late and not answering the phone??? Ya. That just makes me later. Because I have to STOP what I'm doing. I know. I'm late. I'm really really sorry. Again. I suck. But... I still have to finish whatever it was that was making me late in the first place.

And, usually... when I say I'm fine what I really mean is that I am FreakedoutInsecureNeuroticandEmotionallyunstable. But ... fine sounds much better. ONLY read the 1st and the3rd ones. The others are just... well ... disturbing. If you can't control yourself and ONLY read those 2 DON'T CLICK THE LINK. I really should put a disclaimer on here somewhere about those links. Whaddya think? *I am not responsible for the content behind the links. I just found it. I didn't write it.

I'm going to stop now because I think I'm giving myself a complex.

Don't worry I'll be *fine. Really.

Open Letter to ... The Creator. Ya. It's late. So what?

2009-06-25T20:35:00.000-07:00

Dear God,

Please forgive me for wasting time taking a few Facebook quizzes today.

Well, maybe it was more like...5 Facebook quizzes... and .... umm... 1 Twitter quiz.

Okay 2 Twitter quizzes but only because I had to have a redo when I took the "Which NKOTB Member Are You Destined To Be With?" quiz. I think we both know that Jonathan Knight was just all kinds of the wrong answer!

Please forgive me for alwaaaaays being late. Like I am with this post. Which should have been up yesterday.

And please forgive me for losing my patience with Thing4 when he cleaned the kitchen floor with toothpaste last night.

Thanks for all of the awesome *things You give me.
And for making Thing6 the*MostCutestBabyEver sooooo snuggly:)
And quiet.

And Thank You for the *minty fresh scent in my kitchen now. It goes well with the Mr. Clean w/ Febreeze.
Oh .. and Thank You for Febreeze cause it rocks!

So, I see You've decided to clear some time in my schedule.
And...I'm just kinda curious what this means exactly.
I'm sure You have a plan, but...sometimes Your plans aren't so fun for me until after they're over. If that's the case this time.... could you please send me a memo so I can be prepared???

And speaking of preparation, I have the Mary heart down pretty good, but I'm still stuck with this Martha mind so, is there anything we can do about that?

I have a few questions I was hoping You might answer for me. Not exactly *Secrets of the Universe questions, so maybe You will.

Why is it that You created toddlers with more energy than thier mommies?

I mean, I am the one who has to chase them.
I was thinking I might be a little more effective if I could actually catch them.

And Why is it that when I tell one child Noooooo, another one comes right along trying to do the same. exact. thing. that the previous child just got in trouble for.

What's up with that???

Did You create me to run on PuertoRican time? Or is that just something I acquired on my own?

And why is it that when there is a car, tools and a man in a garage, alllll of the *men from miles & miles are drawn to it like somebody pulled out a big magnet and sucked them all in. Where do they come from? Does it really take that many men to change brakes???

I think that's all of the questions I have. For now.

But... there is just 1 little thing I'd like to change, if possible.

I know You don't make mistakes... really .... but ... I think You might have forgotten something when You were putting together my genetic make up. Because .... well ... my Wonder Bra is *wondering where the heck they're at!

Aaaand I'm a little curious too.

Just so You know, out of all the Things That Rock! YOU are the *Most rockin!

P.s Would You please watch over Ashton Kutcher's poor dog?
And I really, really like his green green grass.

P.p.s If You're not too busy can Ya let Ryan Seacrest know that namedropping.... just isn't pretty.

Cause we rock! We rock! We rock on!!!

2009-06-23T15:02:00.000-07:00

Hey! It's Tuesday! Know what that means? It means you should be at the Un Mom, the blog that pops up when you google stuff like "I am just going to type in something random and hope something turns up".

For reals.

Although, that isn't really THAT random. Really random would be "do ninjas like cake?" which also, apparently, gets you to her blog.

The Jon & Kate thing. It's EVERYWHERE. Everywhere! Why???? I just don't get it. Have we truly been reduced to finding entertainment in a struggling marriage? Really??? Seriously??? Why??

Someone @twittered that u were getting old when you didn't know what channel MTV was on. And ... I already feel old enough so... I 'm now following MTV on Twitter.

I always say *thank you to Thing6 (thelast&finalbabyfromtheh&hbabyfactory whichisnowclosed fooorrreeevvveeerwhojusthappenstobethemostcutestbabyever) when I make his grabby little hands give something up. Today when I took something he was trying to put in his mouth, he held out his hand to me and said Thank you Thank you Thank you. Okay, it sounded a little more like tauc da tauc da tauc da. Close enough for me. Not close enough to actually give it back but...

Would you think I was the Worst~Mother~Ever if I told you I seriously want to invest in shock collars?? For the kids?? Just at bedtime???

I have some friend requests on Facebook that I'm just scrolling right past because I have no idea who they are. Do I know them??? Should I know them??? What if I should and I ignore them and they get offended??? So whoever you are ... Who Are You??? Cause until I find out I'm just gonna keep ssscccrrrooolllllliiinnnggg right past ya.

Everytime I take one of those facebook quizzes I end up taking like 5. I think I'm addicted. Ya think there's a recovery program for that?

I think Ryan Seacrest is name dropping on Twitter. Not that I'm following him or anything. I just ..um... you know... thought he might be.

Now I'm really wondering...do ninja's eat cake? I know ninja turtles like pizza. But that's about the extent of my *ninja knowledge.

I CANNOT get the theme song for Camp Rock out of my head. That has to be 20 different kinds of sick. I've been singing Jonas Brothers aaaalllllllllllllll day. Freakin Disney Channel.

Cause we rock! We rock! We rock on!!!

Congratulations, how do you feel? I gotta pee.

2009-06-22T19:56:00.000-07:00

So if you're a mommy, which I am,
And you happen to read blogs by other mommies, which I do,
It won't take you long to realize whats really going on in the mommy blogging world.

Especially if you've been *perusing a wide variety of mommy blogs. And trust me, the variety of moms ~and blogs out there is almost infinite.

I know. I can't help myself. UrbanDictionaryjustcrackersmeup!

I blogged for a while a few years ago but its been a minute ... orayearandahalfofminutes... since I've kept up with the mommy blogging world.

I've got to catch up with some of my most favorite mommy bloggers ever!

And find some new ones that make me laugh so hard I think I might pee in my pants..

Mostly... I've just kinda been sittin by the shallow end... dipping my toes in here and there...

And I have to say...

It's a mom eat mom world out there.

And that just... sucks.

There's Baby Mama Drama. (That post rocks! What? I'm just sayin...)

There's straight up Mama Drama.

And even some Who's the Better Mama? Drama.

What? Really? Are you a mom? Better yet, are you a woman? Then your life is stressful. End of conversation. Problem solved. See how easy that was???

I mean... seriously.... Can't we all just get along?

It's enough to make a person wanna bust out in some Axle Rose... All we need is just a little patience....

Maybe some Lecrae would be better suited to the occasion... Don't waste your life.... SoWhatWhoCaresIGotJesusBaby.

Or perhaps, abigpurpledinosaurwhoIrefusetonamebutknowthewordstohissongsanyway... The more we get together together together... okay. Can't. Choke. Out. Any. More. Of. This. Song.

You get the idea.

The other thing that's changed about the mommy blog world is all. the. freakin. reviews. and. giveaways.

Don't get mad. I think there are some totally awesome moms who do reviews and giveaways & they totally rock for being able to do what they need to do and get what they need to get from blogging.

But it makes me insane to have to scroll through all of the ...er... freakin reviews and giveaways to get to the real stuff. Which is what I prefer to read.

The mushy one where she tells her husband.....

2009-06-21T19:57:00.000-07:00

Dear theBiggestThingofThemAll aka my *Happy Father,

Well, not my father. Cause that would be weird.

But "my *Happy Father of all my kids" just didn't sound as good.

So, I made you a surprise for Fathers Day.

Something just for you.

A list ..because Lists Rock!....of evens.

Don't thank me.

It's all part of being a good wifey;)

Because I just wanted to let you know that...

I'm so thankful for our children, and you...

Still.

Even when you're a butthead.

Even when you toss your dirty laundry on the floor beside the hamper.Really. On the floor beside the hamper. You know. The Hamper. The *thing whose sole purpose for existence is to hold dirty clothes.Your so close. I know you can do it!

Even though you haven't washed the first dish in ten years. TEN. YEARS. Seriously. It's not that hard. Almost any of the *Things can show you how if you need them to. There's even a song about it. 3~simple~steps. Ask Thing 5 to sing it for you;) She knows all the words by heart. She was just singing it yesterday. While she was *3 ~simple~step washing a frog. In my kitchen sink.

Even when thepartsfrommytruckmysteriouslydisappearatthesametimeasyoursismiraculouslyfixed. Now where did that radiator hose walk off to????

Err.... all of which are very very rare. Of course.

Sorryy.

Forgot this was about you for a minute.

I'll make it up to you later.

You. Me. PollenationStationafterthekidsgotosleep.

I'll be the one in your pajama bottoms drooling on the pillow with peanutbutter in my hair.

Happy Fathers Day.

What really? Reeaally?

2009-06-19T21:10:00.000-07:00

Oh. My. Goodness.

I was on twitter, and I'm scrolling down. scrolling. scrolling. clicking. And all of a sudden a phrase catches my eye over in the umm...sidebar thingie. The one that is snot green and just stays that way no matter how many times I try to change it.

I guess that part s'not so important. But it drives me craaazzyy.

(Get it? s'not. snot. Um. Ya.)

Okay. Moving on.

I look over at the sidebar thingy. And underneath the Search bar has *trending topics. And the
link underneath said...

OMGosh! Did that say what I think it said?

I don't even know how to tell you what it said.

It was that bad.

Speaking of bad. Do you think it's bad that before I can write anything I have to *clean my blog.

Yep. I just scroll up and down looking for things I don't like so I can delete them.

Some ... ahem Brit... might call that ocd.

Others ... me!!!... might disagree.

Okay, so I like things a little ... neat. And if that neatness extends to mayo on a piece of bread then, so be it!

Alright it's sick. I cannot, cannot make a messy sandwich.

I like things to be neat. Not that they ever are. Well, they are, but only for about 2.5 seconds, which, I just happen to know is Thing4's record for completely trashing a *just scrubbed bathroom. Or a clean pair of pajamas.

Tonight he was skateboarding inside the house. Inside! The kids were all laying on the couch watching DCMovie so I went to "the Garage" (read: man!cave) to talk to theBiggestThingofThemAll and within 7 minutes Thing3 was outside to let us know that Thing4 was not only skateboarding through the house, but he had built some kind of ramp involving chairs & jumpropes. Seven minutes.

Maybe he's going to be a world famous engineer or something.

According to him he's going to be a *Fire Fighter.

Don't mistakenly assume ...as I did...that that means he's actually going to put out fires though.

No.

He's just going drive around in the Fire Truck with the siren on all day.

Because that's a *sweet ride.

And he can go fast.

And because the other cars move out of the way for the Fire Truck.

And that's awesome.

Ya think he spends too much time in the man!cave?

Cheater Cheater Cheater

2009-06-19T07:16:00.000-07:00

Since I like it so much, and because I was SO good at it last time, It is once again time for...............

Mommy Confessionss

I cheat.

Yep.

I'm a cheater.

I say *maybe to my kids instead of giving them a real answer.

Even when I know what the answer is going to be.

I know.

Bad mommy.

But I can't help it.

I felt like I was telling them NO all the time.

"No. You cannot shoot your brother off of a trampoline cannon."

"No. You cannot get up on the stage at Hannah Montana & do the *Ice Cream Freeze."

"No. You cannot slide down the skateboard ramps at the skatepark at church."

No.

No.

No.

Meanwhile theBiggestThingofThemAll is saying...

Sure.

Sure.

Sure.

"Sure. You can use those 2 big hawk feathers to fly to China."

"Sure. You can use this model rocket to shoot your brother to the moon."

"Sure. You can color yourself as a rainbow. Use these markers!"

I was tired of being the mean one. So now I just say...

"Um... maybe."

The Mommy Confessions is a weekly series by Life Starring the Kids & Me.

As moms, many of us have things that we would like to get off our chests or that we would just like to confess. So here is the place to do it!

Once you read here, pop over to her page and link up with Mr. Linky (if he's in the mood).

Join in and spill it....

What's YOUR Mommy Confession?

You play ball like a giiirrrrrrrrl!

2009-06-17T20:42:00.000-07:00

So, I had a pretty good day today. You?

I've been having a great big AHA moment.

Those are always good ;)

It's like there were all of these things just dumped out on the floor of my mind ... just there.... kinda like a bunch of Legos that have been knocked over and abandoned ... probably by Thing6... for a brighter, shinier new toy.

All of a sudden they've become this intricate thing like... well...like the things you can build with Legos if you can read the instructions. Which I can...not do apparently.

I know. Just follow the directions! It's not rocket science.

Thing 1 can.

Aaaand I'm feelin smarter and smarter all the time.

There should be a list of what to REALLY expect when you're expecting.

#1 Atleast 1 of your children will be smarter than you. And know it.

but you can blame that on ...

#2 Losing brain cells is a part of labor.
One minute they're there and the next...they're just gone.

Fooorrreeevvveeerrr.

In my mind this is said in the voice of the little kid from The Sandlot.

Ever seen that movie? Oh come on you're killin me Smalls!

I would look up a clip for you but I know how much you like to research things for yourself.

Ok I have absolutely nowhere to go after that so...

I DENIED Thing4 the mommykisswhichmakeseverything,everythingbetter today.

Ya. Mean mommy.

He was playing outside and got hurt and came in to get some *feel better so I hugged him and asked him what happened.

He looked at me in all teary eyed seriousness and said "Mommy can you kiss my butt cause I hurt it when I fell off my skateboard."

#3 Always Always Always ask where it hurts before you offer to kiss it.

Yes, they are all mine.

2009-06-17T12:09:00.000-07:00

So I found something earlier that completely crackered me up. Instantly. Before I even clicked the link. Just because of the name.

Because, I feel u girl. I have been asked that ??? SO many times it's the 1st thing u automatically think to tell someone.

Because you know they will ask. They *almost always do.

My 2nd Most asked question is tied between "You mean you gave birth to all of them???" (The answer is yes by the way. Every single one of them. ) and "Do they all have the same father?'' Again yes.

Sometimes I am tempted to say ... no. they all have different fathers. I'm not really sure what they're expecting to hear.

My favorite (picture this word dripping with sarcasm) definently has to be "You know what causes that right?" or any variation of that sentence. Apparently there are many ways to ask the exact same question. And they are all equally annoying.

Um.... ya. We've managed to figure that out. Thankss...

The Mommy Confessions....dumdadumdum

2009-06-13T20:28:00.000-07:00

SO, I was bloggy jumping around earlier. I know. There were probably 8 trillion other *things I could have been doing that would have been waaaay more productive.

But I wasn't doing them. I was doing that instead.

While I was doing that I found

Mommy Confessionss

And I liked it! So....

TADA...that was my 1st confession.

I wasted an hour and a half today bloggy jumping when I could have been doing more productive things like scrubbing the bathroom floor. Again. Because somehow, even though it gets cleaned every morning, by the end of the day, I feel like I've stumbled into a citgo gas station bathroom.

Which leads me to another confession. I don't really clean the bathroom every morning. I clean it every time I go in there. But I didn't want you to know how anal retentive...er...ocd I am so I wasn't going to tell you that.

But really, I have to be.

There would be no other way to maintain my sanity if I wasn't.

There are (atleast) 6 sets of dirty kid shoes (which can get very dirty by the way) trampling all over it all day, boys who somehow *forget to lift the lid (which is not for lack of being reminded I might add), toddlers who like to make *tissue snow (read: tear up the toilet paper into teeeeeny tiiiny bits and throw them up into the air so they will fall all over the floor, which, by this time, probably has water all over it (because no matter how much clean water the dog has in a bowl the kitchen she prefers to drink out of the *bowl in the bathroom), the mirror has a filmy layer over 1/2 of it because certain little girls decide *leave messages in lipgloss and then try to wipe it off (so mommy doesn't see) ~with toilet paper~ so now the toilet paper is stuck to the floor AND the mirror, not to mention the footprints ON the toilet seat because for some unknown reason atleast half of my children squat ON TOP OF IT to poop.

I don't know why.

I swear I did NOT potty train them in the back yard.

So, if you ever come to my house and have to use the bathroom, please be aware that I try to pick up the bathroom every hour or so, but it only takes 20 minutes for all of that to happen so.....enter at your own risk.

And guess what???

There was another confession.

I'm pretty good at this ;)

Right on!

Ok, while I'm at it I might as well admit......

I know almost every theme song on the disney channel. Including Hannah Montana. Which has got to be some kind of sick. I even caught myself thinking that Billy Ray Cyrus is pretty yummy now, which is odd because his achy breaky heart never did anything for me before. So now I'm wondering, is he really yummier now or does bad taste come with getting old????

I totally ball at the end of Prince Caspian when they have to leave Narnia EVERY single time I watch it.

I am a terrible *what I want to be when I grow up role model* because earlier today, when Thing1 asked Thing5 she wanted to be when she grew up she answered "A big scary monster".
To which Thing2 added "Well mommy you always say anything's possible."
Well...that's not quite what I had in mind when I said that.

Aaaaand the worst confession of all.......

I am a secret~closet Twilight fan.

I've read all of the books.

Okay. Twice.

And seen the movie.

Um....several times.

And I am forcing Someonee to take me to see New Moon AS SOON AS it comes out.

Which, I just happen to know is Nov. 20th.

I think I'm all confessed out.

For now.

Do YOU have a mommy confession???
Link up over at Life starring the Kids and Me and let us know.

Randomness

2009-06-12T19:11:00.000-07:00

So how was ya'lls day today?

Mine was good. I've been organizing;)

Today has been ~& still is~ one of those days where my brain just decides to do it's own thing. Without consulting me. It just goes fluttering around. From here to there. Picking random things up and cluttering my head with them.

And then all of those random things keep jumbling around until I declutter them. (I know. I love her too! I'm too...er.... OCD about cleaning to use her system but.... I really love all of her lists!!!!)

Hmmm..I really need to find some type of recovery program for this list thing.

I wonder if I can 27 fling thing (however you say it) my brain. Maybe not so much the 27 thing part. But definently the fling part. I can just picture myself standing there flinging things out of my brain.

But I'm not cleanin up the mess!

Speaking of *things. Thing5 was laughing about something (she's very random too) and she looked at me and says "Mommy you cracker me up!" And now everytime I think about something funny I hear her saying that and it crackers me up too.

Oh and speaking of randomness, what do ya'll think about facebook? Do you use it? I never really got into the whole MySpace thing, but I really like Facebook. I have to check several things online throughout the day and facebook just fits right in there. It takes like 5 seconds to see whats going on. I like that. It's efficient. And I tend to roll...efficiently :)

If you can't find it, look on the roof.

2009-06-11T14:28:00.000-07:00

Have you ever seen Curious George? Or read the books? About the little monkey who gets into ALL KINDS of trouble? It comes on PBS. Thing 5 LOVES Curious George.

Once I joked to theBiggestThingofThemAll that maybe the kids shouldn't watch it because it might give them ideas. I mean, really, you should see the things this cute little monkey manages to get into.

But it was just a joke.

Now, I'm seriously thinkin of adding Curious George to the ever-growing list of *Things we just don't watch* including but not limited to Sponge Bob which, after watching my children spent the whole day *bleeping half of their sentences, and mooning each other. Thankfully no one else was around to witness that little bit of amusingness. (It is a word. Really!)

Yesterday, Thing4 pulled a totally Curious-George-worthy stunt that had me thisclosetoblowinganartery.

TheBiggestThingofThemAll was leaving (not 4 ever, he was coming back :) So I do a head count as he is leaving, clean up Thing6 from lunch and put him down for a nap (took all of 5 minutes) Apparently theBiggestThingofThemAll had to get some stuff from the garage to put in the truck so he didn't leave right away.

A few nimutes later he leaves, Thing6 is down for a nap and I do another headcount and Thing4 is NOWHERE to be found. Okay. Panic, just a little bit. Call theBiggestThingofThemAll. Keep looking. Check all of the hiding spots. No Thing4. Panic, a little bit more. But Thing4 is really really good at hiding. Never gets caught in hide and seek. Call theBiggestThingofThemAll again. Keep looking. Check outside. No Thing4. Ask random neighborhood teenager. Nooooo Thing4. Then Thing 3 says, "Maybe he ran away because he's tired of going in timeout today." Hmmmm.....alot more panic now. Like completely freaking out kind of panic.

Finally theBiggestThingofThemAll calls to let me know that he found Thing4. In the back of the truck. "Did I surprise ya dad?" Ummm ya. Definently surprised. Especially considering that this child, who, on any other day, CANNOT keep still for 30 seconds, managed to keep still and quiet for a whole 30 minutes until his dad stopped the truck and opened the back door *found the surprise.

His response after I grabbed him and told him (through hysterical tears of course) that "I-was-so-worried-I looked-everywhere-and-couldn't-find-you-don't-EVER-do-that-again!

"Did ya look on the roof?"

I just know that somehow this little episode puts me in the running for worst-mother-EVER.

So how have ya'll been?

2008-11-05T05:52:00.000-08:00

We've been good. A little chaotic but good.

It's kinda ironic the way my life works. When I had plenty of time I had NO internet connection. Now that I have plenty of internet connection, i have NO time!

But I love you SO much that I made some time. Just for You!

We are officially moved and it has been crazy busy.

Of course we have been busy with other things too. Like getting ready for school to start next week. And I'm going to be gone ALL weekend. I am seriously SO excited!!!!

But.....

that means....

that the BIGGEST Thing of them ALL....

will have all of the *little Things....

by himself.....

for 2 days.

So ya'll need to PRAY hard for him ;)

and them.

Have a GREAT weekend!

9 comments

Comments feed for this article

August 17, 2008 at 1:41 pm

Rebecca

(edit)

Aw, how sweet - you made time for me! I bet you’re busy girl, with all the *things* around ya! Yay for moving & lots of internet connection! I’m excited for you that school is starting. I hope you have a great week - see ya around when you have the time!

August 18, 2008 at 2:15 pm

titus2woman

(edit)

I’m so glad, ‘cuz your just the gal I wanted to visit for a smile! (((((HUGS))))) sandi

August 18, 2008 at 4:56 pm

Christine

(edit)

LOL and WE MISSED YOU! Thanks for makin time for ME Glad you guys are all moved in and you have INTERNET THIS TIME! w00t! Hope you have a wonderful weekend and yes, we will all be praying for him … and them

August 18, 2008 at 7:41 pm

Christine

(edit)

OH and btw, I had to go private on my spot cause the paparazzi got ahold of my address So send me your email address and you’ll have the exclusive entrance

August 22, 2008 at 11:00 pm

kim-d

(edit)

My gosh, what is wrong with me…I thought I commented already, cause I sure did miss you…oh, my poor menopausal mind ;)!

So how was it…the conference, I mean. I really, really, really want to go to one of those in the worst way! Please share when you have time. I’m just so happy to “hear” from you :)…

September 4, 2008 at 8:13 pm

kim-d

(edit)

Just wanted to come by and say a quick “hi” to you, Heather!

September 16, 2008 at 1:52 pm

titus2woman

(edit)

I am strugglin’ a little bit, and YOU are the person I feel I need to talk to if’n ya have the time! Will you please e-mail me? titus2fam(at)yahoo(dot)com. (((((HUGS))))) sandi

September 22, 2008 at 2:30 pm

kim-d

(edit)

Hey Heather! I wanted to come by and let you know that I made it through the first quarter of school, so I finally have a little bit of time until the next. It’s nice to be able to say hi and thanks for the support and for commenting even though I’ve been MIA! Talk to you soon (hopefully) :).

September 24, 2008 at 7:46 pm

To school or Not to school???

2008-11-05T05:48:00.000-08:00

I put the kids in school last year.

I know.

Don't bad mommy me.

It was a VERY hard decision to make.

I was writing my own curriculum for 3 schoolagers.

In 3 different grades.

And a preschooler.

I was pregnant.

And very TiReD.

I was chasing a very active toddler

And an extremely hyper preschooler.

There was SO much going on at the time ~ you have NO idea what we went through the past 14 months ~ and

I. Just. Couldn't. Do. It.

I admit it.

I am not *Supermom.

So I prayed and I prayed because I couldn't just hand my little *things over to the Fla public schools.

That would have been the equivalent of throwing them into the *Lions Den.

And yes, I know Daniel made it out just fine....

but it's not like his mom is the one who tossed him in there!

So I was led to a charter school. Actually a Montessori Academy which fit them perfectly coming from a fairly laid back and self directed homeschooling enviroment.

It' technically a public school, BUT because it's a charter school it's run like a private school.

Which we could NEVER afford with 6 kiddos.

There are only 16 (or less) kids in each class.

And,

imagine my shock (and joy) when I found out they actually PRAY *in school.

Yes they do.

But I still felt really really guilty.

Like maybe,

just maybe,

I had failed.

My children.

And my God.

And that I was definently not the *good mommy that I thought I was.

And that I try SO hard to be.

Then I read this book, about the life of Paul.

How EVERY detail of his life

(his birthright, his citizenship, his parents sending him to study under Gamaliel)

was specifically planned the way it was for him to fulfill his purpose.

And I realized that it was OK if *I wasn't the one who taught my children math. Or science. Or geography.

Because *I am still teaching them the most important things of all.

9 comments

Comments feed for this article

August 3, 2008 at 4:49 pm

kim-d

(edit)

Oh Heather…I LOVE this post! I am a firm believer that things always turn out the way they’re supposed to. It’s just that sometimes OUR plan is on a different timeframe from the MASTER plan. I think it sounds like you have found THE perfect place for the kids AND you–and I’m glad. If feeling guilty served a useful purpose or did any good? Well, then I’d say go ahead and knock yourself out with the guilt. But it doesn’t, so I won’t. BWAHAHAHA! Heck, I’m WAAAAAAY older than you, and I want you for a Mom!!!!

August 4, 2008 at 3:40 am

deldobuss

(edit)

I think much of the time we spend comparing to others, we miss out on what is best for our family. Good for you for praying it through and deciding on the right course of action for your children. I am so glad to here that you care about them enough to think long and hard about the decision, no matter what your conclusion was.

August 4, 2008 at 5:17 pm

Charity

(edit)

Hey!! It was so good to see you at my blog! I have to admit, I was getting a little…okay…maybe a lot worried about you! I’m glad things are going well for your family. Continue to follow God’s leading in your decisions with your family, and you won’t go wrong. Just stay close to Him.

August 5, 2008 at 1:49 pm

kim-d

(edit)

Hey That Mommy!!! I came by looking for a new post, but I found your “NEW LOOK” instead. Nice! Very, very nice! Hope your week is off to a good start…

August 8, 2008 at 3:12 am

Rebecca

(edit)

I think the school you’ve found sounds like a perfect fit! I hadn’t thought of checking into charter schools in the area, if there are any. I think the conclusion you’ve come to is accurate - the kids will learn what they will at school, you can always add to that & of course be teaching them what’s most important. BTW, there’s no *supermom* or we’re ALL supermoms - that’s really the only way it can be. We all face different challenges & I’m sure feel we fail at some level of expectation we set for ourselves. You’re doing a great job!

August 8, 2008 at 7:28 pm

titus2woman

(edit)

I love you soo very much, and OH GIRL! How many times have almost ALL HSM’s thought about putting their children in school? I know I have, and wouldn’t ya know… They just opened a Montessori down the road… LOL! No judgements from me AT ALL. I know that for us we’ve been stuck inside more than ever due to my injury, and at times I feel bad for it. It’s SUMMER! but God really is sovereign, and for some reason this is where we are supposed to be right now…. (((((HUGS))))) sandi

August 9, 2008 at 1:18 pm

titus2woman

(edit)

Here is a link to the book at Amazon~you can get it used at a good price: http://www.amazon.com/Well-Lose-Weight-While-Breastfeeding/dp/0345492595/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1218286554&sr=8-1 I’m going to leave a five-star review! The one pictured is a newer edition than mine… HHHMMMM…. (((((HUGS))))) sandi

August 10, 2008 at 6:52 pm

godschild97

(edit)

no you should homeschool us again

August 15, 2008 at 11:05 pm

kim-d

(edit)

Just wanted to drop by and tell you I miss you! Have a great weekend, Heather!

So it's been a little while.....

2008-07-22T17:21:00.000-07:00

I won't bore you with the details of the past...year? WOW. I guess it's been a looooong while. we'll just call it a much needed, though highly unplanned sabbatical.

Wait. What? You're supposed to get paid for those? Why didn't anybody tell me??? What's up with that!

Oh...you caught the encarta thing huh? Old habits die hard I guess.

Now that I'm looking at that saying it seems a little...odd. But I'm gonna let it go for now. (Lucky you.)

I'm going to go and try to catch up. I have a feeling I've missed alot.

So guess what?

2007-05-03T09:17:00.000-07:00

I have NO wireless connection :(
and like 5 minutes.
Hope ya'll are having a great week!

Don't have too much fun WITHOUT me. lol.

Invisible dead people? That's just Ludacris!

2007-05-01T13:13:00.000-07:00

I spent like an hour organizing my email today. I'm not sure why. & I think there just might be something really really wrong with that. But maybe God gives points for neat inboxes. And it's not as *pointless as it sounds;)

It was driving me insane. Everything gets sent there.

I was looking for something from someone in my family & I couldn't find it.

So I made folders. And filed it all neatly away.

And no, I don't think that's OCD at all.

I think I just figured out why I blog Becca. I spend so much of my life running around trying to be perfect. That's likely to happen don't ya think? But here, no one expects anything from me so I don't have to be. Hmm..lucky you. All that leftover imperfectness that you're getting ;)

That revelation leads me to the following question. Why do you come here?

Do you know how informative the internet can be? It's definently helped me with my identity issues. The ones that I didn't know I had to begin with. For example, I found out the other day that I'm an invisible dead person who looks like Ludacris. That's always good to hear.

]

heather --

[noun]:

A person who has the ability to be invisible

'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Which Princess Bride Character are You?
this quiz was made by mysti

http://www.myheritage.com

I'm also not emo & there's a 53% chance that I need therapy. Isn't that nice?

Yes, that was a very *productive day as you can clearly see.

Well that's convenient

2007-04-30T18:47:00.000-07:00

Very interesting day today! How 'bout ya'll?

Okay, maybe it wasn't that interesting. Not that I was lying before. It was interesting to me. Just maybe not so interesting to you :')

I don't have any long, wisdom~filled, inspiring thoughts on any given topic right now as I usually do.

Oh, wait. I was just thinking about somebody else's blog.

I don't usually have those here.

But you can still *pretend that I do. If you want to.

Or you're like a big~purple~dinosaur~who~shall~remain~nameless and that's the way you roll.

Either way. It's all good to me.

Do you want to know what I saw today? You're never going to believe it. It was just sad.

A rose made out of panties.

This is not the interesting part of my day by the way. This is just the random part of it that popped into my head when I started typing.

Now I'm not completely naive. I understand that there is obviously a huuuge market for those things.

Really.

What girl wouldn't want one?

What shocked me about it, was that they were being sold at the cash register of the local convenient store.

The one where I have take my children in with me to get stuff.

My children.

Half of whom, are still in the if~you~can~get~it~in~your~grabby~little~hands~then~it~must~go~into~your~mouth phase.

It doesn't always make it to the mouth though.

On a good day.

Which today was.

But those hands are really .. grabby. And quick.

My children.

Who ask questions about everything. everything!

And not quietly either. Not even a little bit.

It's like they have a rule or something.

Must...ask...embarrassing...questions...as...loudly....as...humanly...possible.

But only with an audience.

The bigger the audience, the louder the voice.

Like they're taking a poll or something.

Ya think they're checking my answers?

Maybe I should rethink this homeschooling thing.

They might be learning too much.

Isn't there another rule out there somewhere that say mommy's always right?

Atleast when it comes to the little *Things.

If not, we should definently get one of those.

That could be useful.

Anyway, the above combination of Things, convenient store counter paraphanelia & other people within hearing range is just not a good mix.

How is it a *convenient store if I still have to go to cvs?

'You made your own bed now you've got to lie in it'

2007-04-27T20:58:00.000-07:00

I just don't get that. It should SO be

' You've been lying in that bed now get up & make it yourself!'

It just doesn't make sense the other way. WHY would you lay down in a bed that you JUST made? What's the point of makin it? If I were going to (& I totally would if I could) get right back in my bed a few minutes after I get out of it...do you really think I would go through all that trouble to make it first place???? Cause it's just so hard. Or maybe I'm just that lazy.

Sorry for ranting. Apparently I have cliche issues. I think I'm over them now.

Okay Brit. Forgive me. I didn't mean to leave you hangin on the Bruce Almighty thing. I really ... don't know where I was going with that. You know that part where he's on the bridge...and he says 'Smite me Almighty Smiter'. It just randomly popped into my head when I was thinking about , well, I don't even remember exactly what I was thinking about. But it made me laugh. And then I thought "Maybe I shouldn't say that cause it might offend somebody".

OH I remember what I was thinking. I was in the middle of realizing that I have pretty much been a snotty bitch my whole life. SO I'm working on changing that. And if you happen to be reading this, and that does offend you... well, just think how much it offended me! I was shocked! shocked! to realize that. That's one of the fun things about the Truth. It ain't always pretty. And you usually don't want to admit it. But there it is. For whatever it's worth.

Whatever

2007-04-27T10:14:00.000-07:00

Remind me not to make fun of Thing 1's stories anymore. I think Adventures in Snotland was actually a prophecy.

Except it hasn't really been an adventure...more like a jungle safari gone really really bad. I thought the story was over. Apparently there are a few *surprise endings.

I don't really like surprises.

Any of ya'll pray? If ya do, & you happen to be reading this, could you do me a little favor? Could you just say a little prayer for my Mom.

I'm a firm believer in hitting my knees (instead of the Dr's office & the pills) when we get sick or hurt. Don't get me wrong. When in labor, I'm all about the spinal block & the demoral. I've had 3 c~sections. I don't believe that surgery is evil. And as some of you *may already know, I believe in the power of nyquil when ya just feel like crap. Or atleast, the power of nyquil to knock you out so you sleep through most of it.

But as far as actual healing (as opposed to the fleshy feeling better/ comfort stuff) goes... I go to the great physician exclusively.

My philosophy is that if I don't go to the doctor, then my faith is strong enough that I don't really need to know exactly whats wrong & I just 'pray it away'. God is good & all is well. I know that might not make much sense to some, well most, of you, but this has worked for me all of my life. It's almost like 'if I get diagnosed with it then it will define me'. And that's the way it will be. And that's what my life will be about. Not that there is anything to diagnose. But if there was. That's probably how it would be.

My family's (as in mom, dad, sister, nieces) faith is a little different. Not worse. Not better. Just different. That's okay too. They have faith that if they go to the Dr. when they are sick, that God will use that Dr. or medicine or whatever the treatment is... to heal them. Aaaand that works for them. God is still good & all is well.

So in light of that, I took my mom to the Dr. yesterday. My dad was out of town at a seminar. My sister does not handle emergencies/sickness/basically anything that could possibly involve someone NOT being okay, well.

I'm the one who convinced my mom to go. Everyone's been SO sick lately. We were worried it might turn into pneumonia. Seriously, I thought we would go to the Dr. (who I used to work for when I was nursing *before other Things took priority & he is very close to our family) & he would give her a shot of cortisone & a script for antibiotics. You'll feel better in a few days. Come see me next week.

She was off balance & the only way I can describe it accurately is that she was stumbling around like she had had a few too many. He takes one look at her & sends us to the er. She doesn't want to go. She doesn't want them to tell her she has to stay. I told her I can't see any reason why she would have to stay.

SO guess what they tell her? She has to stay. Her WBC is way high. And she has an on again/off again fever.

I know she'll be okay...but I can't help but think I should have just let her sleep on the couch like she wanted to do in the 1st place. That's what I would have done if it had been me instead of her.....

boy Things & girl Things

2007-04-26T17:17:00.000-07:00

Have you ever seen that movie Bruce Almighty? It's not new or anything. And I haven't seen it recently. I'm not really sure why I was even thinking about it. SO...we'll just...come back to this later. When I actually have something to say about it. Sound good? Good!

You wanna know what drives me crazy about trying to tell ya'll stuff sometimes? Words just don't look the way I say them. like, how often do you talk like this? Where every word is just clipped off neatly at the end. NO emphasis. No pronunciation. It's just ...wierd. Ooooor maybe it's just me? No. You're supposed to say NO.

I was thinking about when Thing 1 ~9yob~ was like 2. Closer to 3. But still 2. He has always been SO self reliant. He can & wants to do everything for himself. This was an extremely annoying trait to me when he was my only *baby. When I had all the time in the world ~ or atleast all the time in the day ~ to cater to his every little desire. But now, that there are 4 more not~so~self~reliant..make that 5 more, I am singin the hallelujah chorus.

I have a point. I just haven't gotten you to it yet. Hang on. I'm getting there.

All we need is just a little patience.....

I was talking to a RL friend (1 of the many 2) who I LOVE and we were talking about Thing 4. And how I have to make sure that no matter what I am always always up & at the very least, semi~coherent BEFORE he wakes up. Or Chaos will reign. & that is just *not the way I roll ;)

That made me remember when Thing 1 was like 2.

& he woke up first. And apparently... had a little time on his hands...before he came into our room all happy & excited. He made us breakfast. Just like daddy does. Cause he loves us so much. Ain't that just the sweetest thing?

You can see where this is going can't you? 2 yr old. Unsupervised. Kitchen.

Say it with me now... a recipe forrrrrrrrrrrr...... what? I can't hear you.

OmGOODNESS let me just tell you what we walked into. A lovely breakfast buffet. Uncooked 'scrambled eggs' ~the good kind~shells & all~ beautifully arranged on the front doormat. 3 bowls sat ontop of the coffee table. Full of jello. And cheerios. And milk. Yummy. A nice contemporary look ....a walkway made of cheerios & grape jelly ...led us into the kitchen.

Need I go on?

I find it oddly funny that the girls *Thing 2 & Thing 3, (Thing 5 is not old enough yet...thankfully;) who love love LOVE to be in the kitchen with me, have never experimented on thier own. And NOT because they are less adventurous. Trust me. I have had walls decorated with you~don't~even~want~to~know~what that just toss that theory right out the window.

Maybe it's a girl thing. Thou shall respect the kitchen. The kitchen shall become your friend. I really like the kitchen. Not so much, my kitchen. Just the kitchen in general, as a room.
I don't know why. I can only cook good enough to not starve my family. That's about it. OH but I make a *mean sausage gravy & biscuits. And pasta. And chicken. And porkchops. Okay, maybe I'm not as bad of a cook as I thought. I must have gotten a little better since the last time I checked. & That's always a good thing.

I've just got nothing here. Ya. Sorry.

2007-04-25T10:33:00.000-07:00

I give up.
Rockyou! is NOT rocking me right now.

I knocked out last night. I am officially sick of being sick. I don't usually get sick. I don't usually get sick to the point where I can't just ignore it & go about my day. My poor kids. They haven't learned a thing since last Monday.

Okay. To be fair to myself, and my awesome teaching abilities, they have actually still learned a few things.

Like how to make it look like you've done things..
when you haven't really done a thing.
How to feed your family every night...
without ever turning on the oven.
How to get a movie at bedtime...
by sweet talkin daddy while mommy's knocked out in a Nyquil~induced~coma.
How mommy will be SO agreeable to anything (including, but not limited to, an ultra healthy breakfast of sausage pizza~banana split pudding~& cheeze its) if you just be quiet while you're doing it.

Not exactly my plan for our curriculum. Or anything close to my "Good Mom" to do list.

But seriously?

2007-04-23T18:13:00.000-07:00

When I think about it. With a *childrens~benadryl~free~mind. As much as Amish. People. Rock. I think I'd rather just be thier neighbor.

I love the simplicity of thier lives. I love that everything they do surrounds thier faith. Ya know what I mean? They are diligent. They are focused. They totally *stand together.

And, how often have you heard about someone actively practicing Amish~ness, going on a mad~bonanza~style~killing~spree? (Did they have those on bonanza? Shoot outs? Maybe? It was a western. Wasn't it?) Don't you think they'd make awesome neighbors?

AND. As neighbors, I get the added bonus of keeping all~of~the~totally cool~stuff~that~I~really~don't~need~but~totally~take~for~granted.

Like a washer & dryer.
My truck.
*Store bought milk.
Spray & Wash.
laptops.
Aeropostle.
PBS.
*No More Tangles.
Magic Erasers.
Fruit Snacks.
Cell phones.

I know. That is a sorry list. That's why I stopped. Did ya notice I used the word totally 2'ice in one sentence? I totally did. You want to know what's even sadder?? I noticed before I even hit post. I just didn't feel like changing it.

Did I mention I've moved on to nyquil?

Last night that stuff knocked me out cold. For like 13 hours. And I was still absolutely exhausted all day today.

It's been a while. A long long time really. But if I remember correctly this is pretty much what a hangover feels like. Can I tell you how thankful I am that my body has a natural aversion to alcohol? Not so much because I think that all forms of it are the epitome of evil. More because of the mack truck it parked on top of my head. I would ask the driver to back up but I can't see him in the haze of nyquility.

For that matter. I am pretty much going to end this nonsense 'on accout of the fact' that I'm seeing 2 of you. 15 points to the 1st person who can name that movie. Or tv show. I know it came from somewhere. Okay. 30 points on account of the fact that I can't remember where it came from.

Edited to add: Could'a swore I hit post last night.

I thought I should let ya know...

2007-04-21T23:06:00.000-07:00

just in case you were sitting there ... wondering

I've never been out of the south.

I dream about living up north.

And I've almost convinced myself that I want to.

But I could never ~ actually ~ live ~ there.

Because, come on!

I live in Florida.

And ~ trust me ~ Fla's SO not *all that.

But it would be really really cold up north in the winter.

And well... I'm a total wimp.

And under 72 degrees is just not the way I roll.

Yes I said 72.

Actually it's more like 72.5

But really.

Did you want me to be all anal about it?

That's why I said 72.

Do you think I could get *rich if I invented a little degrees icon button to go on your keyboard.

It would be so much more efficient.

Talk about being efficient.

I just used 27 words.

To say absolutely nothing.

What is wrong with me???

I Know.

MAKE IT STOP.

Do you know what I like about up north?

They've got amish people there.

And dude.

Amish people just rock.

As Brittany is obsessed with all things asian. And shiny.

That is, Asian.

And shiny.

Not to be confused with asian & shiny.

Or shiny asians.

Although, that would be her 2 favorite things rolled into one.

It would be much more efficient.

Go back & read # 28 again.

So I am fascinated by all things amish.

If you're wondering why I sent you to look up efficient,

it's not because I think you're a loser who doesn't know what efficient means.

It's because I had a brain freeze & looked it up.

And still spelled it wrong.

3 times.

It's not my fault.

Blame it on the childrens benadryl.

I cannot hang.

That stuff is kicking my bootay.

If you followed the bootay link,

please mentally bleep out any & all words or images that may offend you.

And remember,

I didn't make up the definition.

But it's in the dictionary.

And that makes it truthiness.

Again, truthiness ~ not to be confused with the truth.

I'm just doin my job.

Or my self appointed *pretend job.

Which means I better go to bed.

Because it's like, after 3 am.

And my real job will be starting when the rooster crows.

I mean that.

Literally.

Our neighbor actually owns a rooster.

Who crows.

Every morning.

And wakes my children up.

Every morning.

Have mentioned that I can't wait to move?

He has no respect for the weekend.

Or the fact that poor me is doped up on benadryl & still awake.

Because the biggest Thing of them all isn't here.

And I just can't sleep alone.

No matter how much he annoys me.

Or steals my pillows.

Or snores ...LOUDLY.

Overflow

2007-04-21T18:51:00.000-07:00

I'm looking for that other mom. You know the one. The perfect mom. Where is she? I know she's out there somewhere. I've read about her. I've heard about her. Even been asked why I couldn't be more like her. Cause you know, she teaches perfect kids everyday. In her perfectly clean house. Writing perfect posts. While she simultaneously runs her own business from home. Milks the cows every morning. Picks fresh vegetables from the garden for dinner. And bakes ... all kinds of bakie things all day in between rushing said perfect children to all of the most perfect activities.

I'm not so different from her.
I can multi task too.

I can wipe a snotty Thing 5 nose while taming a Thing 4~gone~wild, filling a sippy cup from a gallon of milk bought at Sweetbay, listening to a chattering Thing 3 AND making the appropriate mmmhhhmmm sounds at all of the right places, silencing an argument over ~whatever~Thing 1~&~Thing 2~are~currently~bickering~about with just a look, finding the biggest Thing of them all boxers & a towel so he can take a shower because he can never seem to find them even though they are always in the same place, all at the same time. At which time I am also burning dinner & not baking anything.

How's that for talent?

I think I've just had an epiphanot. Okay not really. But I do think I'm addicted to that site. & I really really like that word. Aaaand I just wanted to use it.

If you happen to see that other mom, let me know. I'm hoping she will show up one day to help me with my laundry.

Sometimes I think I shouldn't be hatin on the laundry so much. But then I look at the overflowing hampers and ... well... it's just not loveable.

Oh and speaking of snotty noses. Or just snot in general. For the record. Rebecca, the much anticipated answer to your question ~ apparently I am *indeedy the queen of snotland and I am so feelin it this week. But don't worry ~ my crown is not made of the ordinary paper & crayon variety, but instead appears to be made from a nice cheeto/drool paste.

You've been on pins & needles just waiting to hear that haven't you. SO happy to provide you with the visual. Don't thank me. It's what I do.

Okay, my neice sent that to me. It's a friend of hers. And he's not, by the way. Just in case it wasn't clear. But they really do think he is. It's so disturbing that I actually laughed myself to tears. There is something seriously WRONG with that. And obviously with me. I'm still cracking up.

In all truthiness, you laughed too didn't you?

A note to my sisters in saltiness.

2007-04-19T10:13:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure how well this post will be received. It might get me lynched. That's okay. There is something on my heart that I feel I HAVE to say. Ya might not like it. You probably WON'T agree with it. You may even click right out and never come back. I can deal with that. Although that's not exactly what I'm going for.

Obedience. Obedience. If One much ~greater ~than ~I tells me to write a post, well...then I'm gonna write a post. I know who I want to please. And I know that even if I don't understand the reasoning, it's ALL GOOD. For the greater good. So I will happily and boldly obey.

My goal here is to help you see the TRUTH. But not mine. And not the worlds version of it either.

I don't usually post about news/politics etc. It's just not my thing. But I'm kinda making an exception. By now, we ALL KNOW what happened at Virginia Tech. How could we not. It's everywhere. I've seen the news. I've read the posts. I know how you feel. I feel the same way. So I'm not getting into feelings. I'm more interested in attitudes. The attitudes of our hearts. It's SO *not our place to judge, and yet...Has anyone done anything besides condemn this sick sick child? Like pray maybe. Because if not then....

You know what? I'm not going to go any further. I'm just going to sit back & let Him speak for Himself.

He says it SO much better than I could anyway.

Thing 2

2007-04-18T12:40:00.000-07:00

- Get Your Own

See More WW's

H square to the 5th power.

2007-04-17T18:39:00.000-07:00

A mystery is a reality whose existence we can perceive, but whose inner workings we cannot understand. Einstein.

That quote has absolutey nothing to do with this post by the way. I just liked it. So I stuck it up there. For no reason at all.

What's that?

Oh you like it too?

I knew you would.

That's why I put it up there.

Just for you.

Bet you thought I had some deep, profound & wise thing going on here huh? Nope. Not so much. But that's okay. You can still think that. If it makes you feel better.

You know who is pretty deep, profound & wise? Melanie Faith. You should go check her out. She's good people. And she's challenged me to Get Some Goals! Ooooh. That hurts a little. lol.

You know what that means. Right? Can ya guess? Can ya? Oh. Really. You can. I'm that predictable hmmm? Well. Now you sound like the biggest Thing of them all. Did I mention that one of him is *more than enough!? ;)

And as for you, just read the dang list anyway okay?

You might as well. You've already gotten this far....

the top 5 to 10 goals that you gotta’ get so that you can truly say you have achieved your wildest dreams in life.

One of my truly wildest dreams....
is to be able to *tinkle.....
all by myself....
without being followed.....
interrogated....
or otherwise interrupted by loud crashes and bangs and clunks and 'Mommy Thing 2 is trying to climb out the window again" s. Causing me to perform a feat that would challenge even 'Mighty Mom' herself.... .....
stop mid~tinkle.
After having 5 children.
That's pure superhero type stuff there.
But I have no clue how to make that happen.
Or I would already be enjoying that *tinkle freedom.
Goal 1 ~ Find someone who knows.
Another of my wildest dreams
is to get out of the house
into the truck
and further than the entraceway
before hearing the words
"Mommy I can't hold it"
after I asked each & every one of them.
3 times.
And made them try anyway.
Because I knew what was going to happen.
So you see,
I've covered all of my bases.
And again I have no clue how to make that happen.
Which brings me to
Goal 2 ~ Find someone who knows.
My absolute wildest dream ....
is to never have to do laundry
ever again.
Eve really screwed us with that whole apple thing.
Really.
If it weren't for her
There would be NO laundry
We would all be nakie
& not even knowing it.
But since it's not a perfect world
I'll just keep my clothes on
Thank you very much.
It's better that way.
Really.
For all of us.
Unfortunately I can't go back
to the garden
and warn her.
So I have no clue how to fix it.
And there we have
Goal 3 ~ Find someone who knows.

And there it is. Okay, so I obviously dont have very lofty aspirations. No hall of fame for me.

But it is what it is.

My wildest dreams come true in finding contentment in what is already in my path.

My biggest goals are attained by just making the most of the life I have.

Well, that & maybe learning from someone who knows! Cause I sure as heck don't ;)

But maybe some of these girlies have a clue....

I'm passing the buck to ya'll. Now you've 'Gotta Get Goals'.

Oh I wonder... wonder ~ is it bedtime yet?

2007-04-16T11:33:00.000-07:00

Today I have

Washed, dried, folded & fluffed (ha ha ha do you really believe that?) about 200 loads of laundry. Really. That's not an exaggeration.
Wondered how such relatively CLEAN children can make thier clothes SMELL so BAD.
Changed roughly 30 (million) dirty diapers.
Wondered WHY they have to be SO much like thier daddy in *that respect. Maybe HE should be the official diaper changer.
Listened to Thing 1 describe ~in detail~ his latest story creation. Life in Snotland. Complete with illustrations. And maps. "Daddy lives on booger lane, where do you want to live?" As far away from there as possible.
Wondered if there is a way to somehow count this little project as 'school'.
Kissed thousands of boo boo's. Real & imagined.
Yet, when Thing 4 smacked his head (hard enough for me to HEAR the Whomp) and I asked him if he wanted mommy to kiss it he just said "No it's good ma" and continued on with his little 2 yr old life.,
Wondered when my love for my children overcame my complete disgust for all feets.
Watched Thing 5 make faces in the mirror.
Wondered how long the "playin with the pretty baby in the mirror" game would actually be entertaining.
47 minutes. Yes the child looked at herself in the mirror for forty seven minutes.
Aaaand we watched her the entire time.
Yes we have no life.
We started out with nothing.
And we still have a little left.
Listened to Thing 1 tell the very vivid (& unfortunately true) story of how he and the biggest Thing of them all caught a dead cat while fishing the day before.
Apparently it was SO cool.
But only because it was already dead.
Wondered if the entourage of pets that have lived & died during thier time with our children, has emotionally scarred & completely desensitized my child.
Was actually thankful to find out that he cried when they caught it.
Felt bad for being happy about a crying child. Still a little happy to know we can skip the years of therapy.
Would have skipped the therapy anyway. We have daily therapy sessions on our knees.
Wiped snotty noses 400 times.
Once with my shirt.
Wondered if the snotland story was based on actual facts.
Decided to change my layout AGAIN.
Wondered if I really *do have multiple personalities.
Started to write a post about the layout changes.
Wondered why I was trying to rationalize blog background decisions to an inanimate object.
Skipped the post and ate some chocolate instead.

*** Edited ~ Thing 1 has brought it to my attention, that the reference to booger lane was incorrect. It is actually booger pit road. And his dad not only resides there, he is the king of snotville ... er snotland. Thing 1 has very *graciously forgiven me for this error. According to him I am not expected to really understand such complex ideas. Thank God for that. I was having quite a hard time wrapping my tiny little brain around such a big thought. ROFL

Random Thinginess

2007-04-13T07:12:00.000-07:00

Thing 3: Mommy I can't remember. Why did Jesus die on the cross for our sins?

Mommy: Because He loves us SO much.

Thing 3: Oh Ya.
LONG thoughtful pause: But I really don't remember that day.

You better think. Think.

2007-04-12T19:07:00.000-07:00

Think about what you're tryin to do... er sorry. That song is totally stuck in my head. What? It's stuck in your head too? How ironic. Wait~what..oohhh .. it's only stuck in your head 'cause.. my bad.

I *think I've had one of those bloggy moments. You know, the one where you realize that there's this whole little bloggyworld out there and you've somehow become part of it. Actually, what I'm realizing is that its a BIG BIG bloggyworld out there. And some amazing moms behind them. Moms that you want to be just like when you grow up. Moms like Youngmommy who is a so~much~better version of me than I am. So imagine my surprise when she tagged me with the

She made me sound So great I almost wanted to check myself out. Not like that! Think NICE thoughts! And ya wanna know the best part? It involves *making a list. I KNOW! Aren't you excited? WOW. Really... you don't have to do cartwheels... Just sit back down...

And go check out 5 bloggers who make me think

A Not So Desperate Housewife ~ Rebecca ~ is the absolute awesomest. She's my 1st bloggy friend & my 1 faithful reader. lol. AND she even humors me with comment lists! You can tell that she's the mom you could just chill with all day. No matter what you were doing. Or how WILD your kids are being. And even though she *thinks she's just waiting for the world to change, I think she's helping to change it :)
I was just led to Especially Heather yesterday but I was completely engrossed in what she wrote & how she wrote it. When I read about her baby girl I could SO relate. I've been there! When I read about what she is going through now I thought "I could never do that" and especially not with the grace that pours out of her. Unknowingly, she reminds me to be thankful that our savior is not just your average everyday hero.
Charity of Arrows In Our Quiver really makes me think. She makes me think "How does this sweet little girl have it SO together, and what does that say about me?" lol. If you are ever, ever EVER feeling down & out, need a shoulder or an ear, encouragement or support, or just straight up need to feel like somebody loves ya THIS is the place to go!
The mom behind Always A Work In Progress is a true Titus2Woman. She cracks me up with the peepee dance and other silliness. Most of all she challenges me, in those wifely areas... and encourages me to strive to be a better wife, mom & woman. AND she gives the best (((hugs&prayers))).
Ya'll are making me stand up right in the midde of lurkerville for this one, but if I'm givin you blogs that make me think then I've gotta tell you about Rockstar Mommy. I'm not sure if this awards thing is really the way she rolls.. but the very 1st post I ever read on her blog brought home a HUGE lesson that I was being taught. If you looked up a comparison for our little corners of bloggy world it would probably come up under antonyms. You would be looking this up on Encarta, of course. 'Cause that's just how we look things up around here. We are both moms, and our instinctive *mom feelings, emotions, fears... they are all the same on the inside. It's just the way we express them on the outside that's different.

The idea of this award is to "pay it forward" --

If, and only if, you get tagged, & you choose to participate,

write a post with links to 5 blogs that make you think

Link to the original post, so that people can easily find the exact origin of the meme

Proudly display the ‘Thinking Blogger Award’

I just got myself a new job! This is priceless.

2007-04-12T07:37:00.000-07:00

Do you ever get tired of hearing....
JUST A MOM?

A woman, renewing her driver's license at the County Clerk 's office was asked by the woman recorder to state her occupation. She hesitated, uncertain how to classify herself."What I mean is," explained the recorder, "do you have a job or are you just a......?"

"Of course I have a job," snapped the woman"I'm a Mom.""We don't list 'Mom' as an occupation, 'housewife' covers it," said the recorder emphatically.

I forgot all about her story until one day I found myself in the same situation, this time at our own Town Hall.The Clerk was obviously a career woman, poised, efficient and possessed of a high sounding title like,"Official In terror gator" or "Town Registrar." "What is your occupation?" she probed.

What made me say it? I do not know. The words simply popped out."I'm a Research Associate in the field of Child Development and Human Relations." The clerk paused, ball-point pen frozen in midair and looked up as though she had not heard right. I repeated the title slowly emphasizing the most significant words.

Then I stared with wonder as my pronouncement was written, in bold, black ink on the official questionnaire."Might I ask," said the clerk with new interest,"just what you do in your field?"

Coolly, without any trace of fluster in my voice, I heard myself reply,"I have a continuing program of research, (what mother doesn't) in the laboratory and in the field, (normally I would have said indoors and out).

I'm working for my Masters, (first the Lord and then the whole family) and already have four credits (all daughters). Of course, the job is one of the most demanding in the humanities,(any mother care to disagree?) and I often work 14 hours a day, (24 is more like it). But the job is more challenging than most run-of-the-mill careers and the rewards are more of a satisfaction rather than just money."

There was an increasing note of respect in the clerk'svoice as she completed the form, stood up and personally ushered me to the door.

As I drove into our driveway, buoyed up by my glamorous new career, I was greeted by my lab assistants -- ages 13, 7, and 3.

Upstairs I could hear our new experimental model, (a 6 month old baby) in the child development program, testing out a new vocal pattern.

I felt I had scored a beat on bureaucracy!

And I had gone on the official records as someone more distinguished and indispensable to mankind than "just another Mom."

Motherhood! What a glorious career!

Especially when there's a title on the door.

Does this make grandmothers"Senior Research associates in the field of Child Development and Human Relations"and great grand mothers "Executive Senior Research Associates"?I think so!!!

I also think it makes Aunts "Associate Research Assistants".

Especially Heather

2007-04-11T11:20:00.000-07:00

Posted on April 10th, 2007 by Sprittibee:

One of our team at the Homeschool Blog Awards site, Heather of Especially Heather, has found out that she has a brain tumor today. Please be in prayer for her. At this time, voting will continue and polls will automatically shut down Friday at midnight. Please understand that response time to email and problems will be slower. We invite you to stand with us in prayer for her healing and comfort.
If you would like to know more, or leave her a note to let her know you are praying, you can click her blog link above.

*** Edited to add
I just read through Heather's blog and I found myself engrossed in it. Which given my attention span & all of the Things that take up my time, doesn't happen very often. If you haven't already, you should definently go check her out. This woman is absolutely amazing and even in the middle of everything she's going through can still take the time to remind us that thankfully, we don't serve an *average God.

random unorganized momble jomble

2007-04-10T17:38:00.000-07:00

I've been trying this new thing lately. Being quiet. Think before I speak, if you will. I know. I should already know how to do this. I'm sure I've learned this before at some point in my life. But I just don't think the lesson took. Obviously. Or I woudn't be *practicing the art of keeping my mouth shut. Right now. Probably at this very moment.

And ya know what??? It's freakin HARD to do sometimes. *Especially when I think I'm right. Or righteous. Since I've been keeping my thoughts to myself, they're overloading my brain. I barely have time to register 1 thought before the next one comes popping along, rudely interrupting like there was nothing there already.

So guess what? It's your lucky day! If you like random, unorganized, momble jomble. I won't be offended if you don't. Really. Not even a little bit. That does mean that it's not~so~much your lucky day. But these thoughts have to go somewhere. So..either way, here's some random truthiness.

If you've never been here before, you might not know that I'm a compulsive listmaker.
Unless it's just that obvious.
I think I've finally figured out why I like lists SO much.
They surface clean my brain.
& they somehow make even the utterest of chaos look neat & organized.
You know how I feel about surface cleaning.
In a perfect world, if I made a list of every single piece of clothing my children have gotten dirty this week if it would *magically clean itself.
Have ya noticed it's not a perfect world?
Guess that means I should get on that laundry a little quicker.
So I'll save that list for another day.
I know.
It's devestating.
I know you're tearing up right now at just the mere thought of not seeing that list.
Me too.
You should be careful what you name your children.
Has anyone ever told you that your child's name determines what kind of person they will be.
They lied.
My sister wanted to name her youngest daughter Harley.
I don't know why.
My mom (hers too) told her she would be a hellion with a name like that.
So they named her Rebecca Lynn.
Such a sweet name.
Thing 2 cracks me up.
I think it's because she's ALOT like me.
I tend to crack me up too.
Someone has to amuse me.
It might as well be myself.
Thing 1 *9b did something earlier.
I don't remember what.
But I said ' Thing 1 I don't find that humorous at ALL.'
Thing 2 *6g ~ in her little girl princess~like little~girl~way ~ says
'Not even a little bit!'
Do you consider yourself a quiverful mom?
I do.
As far as quivers go, mine feels pretty full sometimes.
But I like the organized chaos of it.
What I did not know was that there is an entire MOVEMENT.
What exactly is the movement for?
And where is it going?
Why do we take 1 little part of what we are supposed to be about
and let that define us.
Why are we so intent on trying to make our mark on the world
that we forget to leave his imprint in the world.
I had a conversation once.
I've had a conversation more than once.
But I had this *particular conversation once
A girl I had just met was asking me what I do.
As in, for a living.
When I told her I was a sahm of 5
and a homeschooler
she got this really confused look on her face
And asked if she could ask me a personal question
Sure.
why not.
we're used to it right?
But then she proceeded to ask
somewhat bashfully and embarrassed,
'How do you give them all a bath? I mean, how does that work?'
I promise.
That is what she asked me.
And just when I thought I'd heard it all

Okay, for those of you who actually made it through that list and are still reading waaay down here, I know you've had your Most~bizzare~thing~I've~ever~heard & the~absolute~last~thing~I~expected~to~hear Moments. GO post about it right now and then leave me a comment so I can go read it.

I really can't believe you're still here. Amazed really. Even the biggest Thing of them all glanced over and said 'uh baby, that's a really looong list. And he KNOWS I'm all about the list. So, umm.. great job! You deserve some kind of reward for that endurance. Let me see what I can find for ya.

Jesus what?

2007-04-10T08:49:00.000-07:00

In honor of truthiness tuesday.....

I love it!

I had to. When I saw it on another blog (good stuff by the way) I just could not resist. It goes so well with truthiness tuesday. That's 100% Truthiness right there :)

Truthiness Tuesday

2007-04-10T04:56:00.000-07:00

1. I am declaring today to be Truthiness Tuesday.
2. Truthiness really IS a word. I didn't just make it up.
3. Encarta failed me. But YOU are SO important to me that I searched high and low across the internet to find it.
4. I found it.
5. In the Urban Dictionary.
6. Truthiness.
7. Not to be mistaken with the Truth.
8. See the difference?
9. I was watching the news this morning.
10. Okay the biggest Thing of them all was watching the weather and I just sorta *caught a story on the news this morning.
11. But it sounded much better the other way. SO,
12. I was watching the news this morning.
13. And they were talking about Tampa.
14. And the water department.
15. We use chlorine gas to clean our water.
16. Apparently, this is a tremendous risk for terrorism.
17. They are blowing up chlorine gas compounds in Iraq.
18. So they told them exactly where to find ours.
19. And approximately how many people they could kill should they choose to blow it up.
20. Good lookin out.
21. I really don't care to watch the news.
22. The last time I watched it, there was a story on cooking healthy meals.
23. For your dog.
24. hubba wha?
25. Right after that, they showed a woman who just tossed a live baby out in the trash.
26. I'm not really *into the whole political thing.
27. So I won't pretend to be all smart and knowledgeable.
28. Because I am just so..not.
29. But I will say this.
30. The reason we will never win this war is NOT because our president is a complete jack ass.
31. It's because he's a complete jack ass who thinks he's fighting a political war.
32. Maybe, just maybe, some countries Do NOT want to be like America.
33. Some cultures are not about treating dogs like babies, and treating babies WORSE than dogs.
34. The man who had like 42 dogs he wasn't taking care of was thrown in prison.
35. The woman who threw the baby in the dumpster was *hospitalized to 'get the help she needs'.
36. Who wouldn't want to be like us?

I'm NOT too OCD to unschool

2007-04-09T18:08:00.000-07:00

Maybe I am. Okay I probably am. BUT. I'm drawn to the whole idea of unschooling. I don't know why. Maybe God is trying to tell me something. OR maybe it just sounds cool.

I like the idea of Anti School. Is that a valid homeschooling choice? Or did I just make it up? Hey maybe I can write a parenting book about it. It'll be a best seller. Ya'll would buy it. Wouldn't you? Of course you would. How else would it be a best seller?

SO I'm thinking of trying this 'unschooling' thing. Atleast for the summer. But there's a teeny tiny problem. It's the ugly anal~retentive~perfectionism thing rearing it's ugly head again. I would just knock it out with a cast iron skillet but that would hurt ME. I'll have to come up with another solution.

How about ya'll? Any unschoolers out there? What do you do? How do you do it? Does it involve lists? Is it totally sick that I hope it does? SEE that's the anal thing I'm talking about. Obsessive Compulsive LISTMAKER. There. I said it. Now you don't have to. Really. Don't say it.

I know. I have serious problems. I'm workin on it. There's no pill for it. I've checked. Okay not really. I'm a wimp. I don't like pills. But I thought it might make you feel better to think I was actively seeking help.

Life goes on, sometimes.

2007-04-09T16:50:00.000-07:00

I've been racking my brain and cannot find a way to make what I have to say even the least bit witty or inspiring. So I'm just going to tell ya'll and move on. Thanks for all of the happy encouraging comments on the ummmm post.

Unfortunately, it wasn't meant to be. I don't want to have a tearfest. I did that already. Yesterday morning when I woke up and realized what was happening. I got back in bed. Pulled the covers over my head. And proclaimed to J that nothing could make me get out of bed. And God quickly prompted me to remember that my son's best friend's mom was going to church with us. For the first time. And that nagging little thought would not leave my brain. So I got up. And life goes on.

If I weren't So freakin intuitive and didn't KNOW my body as well as I do, I wouldn't have even realized it. I would have passed it off as late and heavy. So, is ignorance bliss? In this case I would have to say yes! Unequivocally yes.

The thing that really gets me, is that I was *quite content without a 'Thing 6'. Until there was one. And the second I realized it, the desire of my heart changed completely. Now I want a Thing 6. And it's not there anymore. So what was the point?

I'm straight though. It's all good. I know there is a plan. But I didn't get the memo yet, so I admit I am absolutely clueless as to what the actual plan is. But really, how is that part different from any other day.

Reflections

2007-04-08T17:51:00.000-07:00

He is Risen INDEED.

Nothing says 'Thanks for dying for my sins" like easter bunnies, eggs & candy. lol.

2007-04-07T19:40:00.000-07:00

So, I've been contemplating this whole easter thing and am curious how you wiew this holyday. or holiday, if it's not holy to you. What exactly does this day mean to you?

I've always just taught my kids that the easter bunny ~along with santa & the tooth fairy~ is kinda like Barney. Pretend. Something fun and nonsensical (I know. But you KNOW how I feel about Encarta. And I really *wasn't sure if it was a word) It's something we do to humor grandma & grandpa. But they know the TRUTH. ANd they have no problem telling it to anyone. Whether you ask or not. SOmetimes this is not such a good thing. Like when it makes thier friends cry. And then causes angry parents to call me at night. That's not so fun.

Parent: How could you do that to your child?
Me:How could I do what? *Not lie to them?

I don't care if you do the 'santa/easter bunny thing. I don't tell my kids you're evil incarnate because of it. But WHY would you call and ask me that question? I don't call you and ask why you tell your children a big bunny comes in the middle of the night laying eggs and leaving easter baskets. I'm sorry my child made yours cry and ask if you were lying. We had a talk about it. Really. But he was smarter than me & I had no clue how to come back from his reply.

Me: You know... I know what we believe, but everyone else doesn't believe that. And you made your friends cry. So maybe we shouldn't say anything to them about it. Thier parents want to tell them something else. And we should respect that.

Thing 1: I thought the bible tells us to tell the truth about Jesus.

Me: It does.

Thing 1: Then why do you want me to lie to my friends? You always tell me not to lie.

Me, *desperately trying to reason with this boy so I don't have to be screamed at by any more parents: I don't want you to lie. I just don't want you to say anything about it.

Thing 6: That's still NOT telling the truth about Jesus.

There was nothing else I could say. I was out wisdom'ed by a (then) 7 yr old.

So you see, it's not my fault. He knows how to read. And he has good taste in books. And great life application skills. WOW homeschooling really does pay off! Who'dda thunk it? (I can't help it. There is just something about that word. I know. It's like a sickness or something.)

All of that to say Have a happy 'He's alive' day. Or happy EasterBunny day. Or whatever you are celebrating tomorrow:)

ummmm ....

2007-04-06T09:08:00.000-07:00

Apparently the visitor will be delayed by about 9+ months. And Thing 6 IS in the works. Atleast, according to EPT....

In other news, a house on 1 acre has fallen from the sky and will be ours in 3 weeks.

Imagine that!

On my last nerve...maybe.

2007-04-04T05:50:00.000-07:00

You know that 1 nerve that we all have. Yes, the last 1. As in "You are getting on my last nerve!" How do you really know it's the last one? What if there are more, secret nerves that come out to replace all of the ones that you've lost. And where exactly do all of those nerves go?

I have been on my last nerve for days now. If, in fact it is the very last one. It's frazzled and frayed and falling apart. And there are these things hanging from it...as in Thing 1 and Thing 2 and Thing 3 and Thing 4 and not~so~much Thing 5 but *most definently the biggest Thing of them all. I think they think it's a tight rope or something b/c they're doing tricks on it. Pulling it down. Yanking on it and bouncing on top of it. I'm afraid it's going to snap, and they're all going to fall down.

It's not thier fault really. They are just doing what they were designed to do ~ kinda like monkeys in the zoo, hanging around doing odd monkey~things.

But I have been waiting for a visitor...who seems to have bailed. Maybe it's lost with all of those nerves. But this is a very important visitor. You know the one that we all dread each month until it doesn't show up. Ya that's the one. Have you seen it? Did it stop by to visit you first? If you do see it, please send it my way.

I'm freaking out here. Just a little. Can you tell? I can't help it. Everywhere I go it's babies and more babies. Or women who are about to have babies. What if it's in the water? I should stop drinking water. Don't get me wrong. I love babies. I'm very very prone to getting 'baby fever'. That's why we have 5 already. But I'm trying NOT to get baby fever 'cause Thing 5 just turned 1 yr and it's about that time.....lol. But right now ALL I can think of are all the reasons that it would NOT be good timing.

Are you listening God? We have NO room. And I don't mean no room as in, "We could rearrange if we had to." I mean we have no room as in, we were buying a house that fell through and ended up in a 34ft Rv. With 5 kids. SO either send 'the visitor' or send a house. And if You want ... I could use some more nerves too. Because as You read above, I'm down to my last 1.

Beautiful Mess

WW: The last baby hair

Tackle It Tuesday: I might be a slacker.

Tackle It Tuesday on a Wordless Wednesday

RTT: So Lotta Random, so little time...

Ya so I had this amazing plan....

Quotable Sunday: Total Momsense :) Because THIS is what I say, on ANY given day.

All we need is Love.

8 Crucial Safety Tips for Women and Girls

The Top Ten Things Every Woman Should Know about Personal Safety

Serious Safety Tips for Women

WW: You're so pretty. Ya, I know.

Because Ashton Kutcher Just Rocks!

Going Balls to the Wall... :7 Things to 7 people.

Everybody needs an Emmett.

The Florida Bar Association has announced that they will start doing Social Media Background Checks on Lawyer Applicants

I always find peace dwelling in the middle of chaos... (Like!)

...just realized what LOST is REALLY about. Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought it was this DEEP!

< insert funny title here >

I just saw the Sexiest.Man.Ever. IDK what he looked like but he had a sponge and a mop and it was hott!

OMGosh! This week has been SO busy!

Bleeding, PeePee dancing, Flashing... You know... All of the usual stuff you do in a week...

I read something about the more colorful your food is the better it’s supposed to be for you. I think I might even have read it on one of the rtt's from last week.

So I'm wondering if that's real.

And if it includes M&M's.

Because if it is true then they should definitely count.

They are VERY colorful ;)

I was outside talking to a neighbor holding a WIGGLY Thing6. Who decided to pull my shirt down. And you could see.. well..things that are usually NOT seen... And to top it all off 3 construction trucks happened to be rolling by... death by mortification....

The one where God goes from whispering to kicking....

i find it fascinating that SarahJessicaParker can go from butt ugly to insanely hot in a split second. It’s like a hidden super power and I want it!

Because this is my favorite quote EVER.

WTHeck was in that good wife memo and why didn't anyone send it to me???

I don't even think words exist to adequately describe the hellaciousness that was my day

Defeated by the Master of Adorability. You may have won this time but this isn't the last you've seen of me.

Umm...ya. Sorry. I've really just got nothing here....

....when mere words are just not enough to express the intensity of your... love...

And God said: Sex is Good...but only if you're married and definently NOT with vampires wearing dirty clothes.

So stop what you're doing and get up RIGHT NOW and go hug your kids!

The one where God surely does have an ironic sense of humor...

Come Out Come Out Wherever You Are.

Random Linky Bloghoppin Stuff. On A Tuesday.

Thing1 is SOOOO grounded

Google could totally kick Yahoos butt in a search fight anyday!

Open Letter to .. my Wild Child

The Hurrier I go The Behinder I get!

I'm So Excited. And I just can't hide it ...

Not Because I Could Hear You....

Aloha *Edward Friday

The Mommy Confessions ... but God said yes!

Google Say Wha Say Wha???

WW Giving New Meaning To The Term *Happy Ass

Houston I think we have a problem

Saturday... Saturday... Saturday.

So, apparently it's Friday.

Open Letter to ... The Creator. Ya. It's late. So what?

Cause we rock! We rock! We rock on!!!

Congratulations, how do you feel? I gotta pee.

The mushy one where she tells her husband.....

What really? Reeaally?

Cheater Cheater Cheater

You play ball like a giiirrrrrrrrl!

Yes, they are all mine.

The Mommy Confessions....dumdadumdum

Randomness

If you can't find it, look on the roof.

So how have ya'll been?

9 comments

To school or Not to school???

9 comments

So it's been a little while.....

So guess what?

Invisible dead people? That's just Ludacris!

Well that's convenient

'You made your own bed now you've got to lie in it'

Whatever

boy *Things & girl *Things

I've just got nothing here. Ya. Sorry.

But seriously?

I thought I should let ya know...

Overflow

boy Things & girl Things